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A review by lojo5
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast by Barry McDonagh
5.0
This is a very helpful book for anyone suffering anxiety. I appreciate that they include many manifestations of anxiety, and recognize how debilitating and frustrating they can be. I've read and listened to other anxiety relief guides, but they often do not jive well with my experiences. This book discusses generalized anxiety, situational anxiety, panic attacks (which they suggest referring to as "adrenaline floods"), worry that it will never end, and more. It discusses the physical sensations that can accompany anxiety of which there are many. It has examples that apply to most people's experiences with anxiety, from mild to extreme. It attempts to decouple the fear of physical sensations from the physical sensations themselves.
The general technique given in this book is very much related to common meditation techniques and the concept that our response to suffering can worsen our suffering. It's not designed to get rid of your anxiety, it's designed to get rid of your fear of anxiety. DARE is an acronym for Defuse, Allow, Run Towards, Engage. When you feel anxiety you:
Defuse by dismissing your "What if" thoughts and thinking like "So what, idgaf".
Allow the feelings or thoughts to be present and remember it is not something you can control, nor is it truly dangerous. It's just nervous arousal.
Run Towards it by telling yourself you are excited by these thoughts or feelings. Fear and excitement are similar experiences and the goal is to adopt a new perspective towards these thoughts or feelings. Sometimes this step is skipped, but it may be helpful when anxiety is building up.
Engage in an activity, whatever it is you were going to do or anything else that takes your full attention. You want to spend most of your time in this step! Anxiety will still show up, but shift your attention back to continue engaging and apply the DARE response as needed.
When it comes up I think something like “Oh, hi friend. You’re giving me this energy and these feelings because you think I need it. I don’t actually need it right now, but you’re doing your best so I thank you for that. I’m going to go on and do whatever it is I want now. You do what you do, it’s cool.” It can be difficult to truly believe this, but it is okay to fake it and trust the process .
The book is about ending your fear of sensations so that you can be free of them. Anxiety is as an opportunity to practice this technique and help work towards your recovery. This will take time, but I think it is a healthy approach and could eventually make life much more enjoyable.
They also have a phone app called Dare with lots of helpful audio.
The general technique given in this book is very much related to common meditation techniques and the concept that our response to suffering can worsen our suffering. It's not designed to get rid of your anxiety, it's designed to get rid of your fear of anxiety. DARE is an acronym for Defuse, Allow, Run Towards, Engage. When you feel anxiety you:
Defuse by dismissing your "What if" thoughts and thinking like "So what, idgaf".
Allow the feelings or thoughts to be present and remember it is not something you can control, nor is it truly dangerous. It's just nervous arousal.
Run Towards it by telling yourself you are excited by these thoughts or feelings. Fear and excitement are similar experiences and the goal is to adopt a new perspective towards these thoughts or feelings. Sometimes this step is skipped, but it may be helpful when anxiety is building up.
Engage in an activity, whatever it is you were going to do or anything else that takes your full attention. You want to spend most of your time in this step! Anxiety will still show up, but shift your attention back to continue engaging and apply the DARE response as needed.
When it comes up I think something like “Oh, hi friend. You’re giving me this energy and these feelings because you think I need it. I don’t actually need it right now, but you’re doing your best so I thank you for that. I’m going to go on and do whatever it is I want now. You do what you do, it’s cool.” It can be difficult to truly believe this, but it is okay to fake it and trust the process .
The book is about ending your fear of sensations so that you can be free of them. Anxiety is as an opportunity to practice this technique and help work towards your recovery. This will take time, but I think it is a healthy approach and could eventually make life much more enjoyable.
They also have a phone app called Dare with lots of helpful audio.