A review by kwaeisig
The Sex Lives of African Women: Self-Discovery, Freedom, and Healing by Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah

challenging emotional funny informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.5

I wish the book had more stories from cisgendered heterosexual women in loving relationships and positive sex lives & I also wish there were more representations of Black women from the diaspora from the USA. 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Abortion, Child abuse, Racism, Rape, Pregnancy, Religious bigotry, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Toxic friendship

Minor: Lesbophobia, Mental illness, Homophobia, Infertility, Ableism, Alcohol, Infidelity, Biphobia, and Classism

I think this book makes us stop and think about what sex is and means for the diaspora of Black women across the globe. It has no one definition and is an ever changing concept and women age and grow and experience new things throughout their lives. The way sex is viewed starts young and many times children are having sexual acts among themselves which is disheartening and troublesome and difficult to acknowledge. As many parents work to shield their children from such exposure, somehow, they are still being exposed be it from the media or their peers or watching adult interactions/mannerisms. I think this book does a good job by highlighting the similarities in all of our differences as Black women and how at the end of the day, we all wants to be understood, respected, listened to, and honored, while also having the freedom to have guiltless shameless sex that ends in orgasm without regret, sexual assault, or rape. This books makes you think of the younger generation of children that are on the cusp of puberty and how they are being socialized to understand (or not understand) their bodies, the reproductive system, sex, gender identity, gender expression, sex as an act, consent, and so much more. I can only hope that they are more knowledgeable than those that have come before them and are more powerful in how they navigate the world we all live in. Though some of the stories were quite sad, some were also motivational, relatable, and provided glimpses of hope for a better tomorrow. And for that I give thanks to the author for spending 5 years compiling these very real stories and sharing them.