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A review by mollyringle
Confessions of a Latter-day Virgin: A Memoir by Nicole Hardy
5.0
There is no one right way to be a woman. Or a man, for that matter. Not a revolutionary concept, right? But if you grew up in a religion where they prescribe a certain pattern of life to you (in this case, marriage and children, followed up by eternity in heaven together)--and remind you of it at every service and every get-together--you'd probably start thinking there was something wrong with you if your life didn't match this perfect ideal. That's exactly what Nicole Hardy ran up against, and illustrates beautifully, in this memoir.
While the book made me deeply angry with the Mormon church (and other religions that pound down their members in similar ways), I was impressed with how fairly she presents those of the LDS faith. After all, these are her family members, her childhood friends, her companions in most of life; and when we get to know them, we see they're respectable, loving, good-humored people, not at all the religious zombies some paint them to be. She does get a few seriously offensive, bigoted remarks (we've all met such people), but on the whole, she lets us see the humanity of everyone she encountered along this ride, Mormon or otherwise. While organized religion still irks me--and she shows plenty of good reasons why it might--I do admire her for showing such fairness.
As to the writing, I admire that even more. Nicole pulls off what must be one of the hardest tasks in memoir-writing: that is, telling the truth and being engaging while not coming across as self-obsessed or egotistical. In fact, her vulnerability and wry self-deprecating humor is totally endearing, and instantly relatable. For me, this book succeeds where 'Eat, Pray, Love' sometimes falls down: namely, Nicole's struggles with her faith and her love life struck me as much more real and formidable than Elizabeth Gilbert's did. But like Liz's, we do get tasty forays into world travel and some truly hilarious dating experiences, so the fun parts still measure up to that (in)famous other memoir.
I read this directly after one of Dan Savage's memoirs, and thought he might be a hard act to follow, but it turns out she surpassed him. Nicole's prose is especially lovely and poetic (which makes sense, given she's also a poet), and she excels at bringing alive the people she's met as well as the spectrum of feelings they inspired. Bravely done, Nicole! Seattle is proud to possess you!
While the book made me deeply angry with the Mormon church (and other religions that pound down their members in similar ways), I was impressed with how fairly she presents those of the LDS faith. After all, these are her family members, her childhood friends, her companions in most of life; and when we get to know them, we see they're respectable, loving, good-humored people, not at all the religious zombies some paint them to be. She does get a few seriously offensive, bigoted remarks (we've all met such people), but on the whole, she lets us see the humanity of everyone she encountered along this ride, Mormon or otherwise. While organized religion still irks me--and she shows plenty of good reasons why it might--I do admire her for showing such fairness.
As to the writing, I admire that even more. Nicole pulls off what must be one of the hardest tasks in memoir-writing: that is, telling the truth and being engaging while not coming across as self-obsessed or egotistical. In fact, her vulnerability and wry self-deprecating humor is totally endearing, and instantly relatable. For me, this book succeeds where 'Eat, Pray, Love' sometimes falls down: namely, Nicole's struggles with her faith and her love life struck me as much more real and formidable than Elizabeth Gilbert's did. But like Liz's, we do get tasty forays into world travel and some truly hilarious dating experiences, so the fun parts still measure up to that (in)famous other memoir.
I read this directly after one of Dan Savage's memoirs, and thought he might be a hard act to follow, but it turns out she surpassed him. Nicole's prose is especially lovely and poetic (which makes sense, given she's also a poet), and she excels at bringing alive the people she's met as well as the spectrum of feelings they inspired. Bravely done, Nicole! Seattle is proud to possess you!