A review by pertuset
Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gabor Maté, Gordon Neufeld

5.0

This is one of the parenting books that I’ve most appreciated. It discusses the need children have to form attachments with caring adults and the positive results it creates: the self-worth that comes from unconditional love and the sense of identity that accompanies the transmission of culture.

The book seems most concerned with older children, and the dangers of peer-orientation for teens in particular, though I find the information about the value of children’s connection to adults to be important and useful reading for any age.

Two ideas that especially resonated with me were the instructions for “collecting” children –behaviors that draw our children to us and encourage attachment – and the call for an “attachment village” – a group of caring adults who support each other in nurturing children and passing down values.