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A review by sidharthvardhan
Ulysses by James Joyce
5.0
The real truth behind why Ulysses was written
All the reviewers here seem to think that this is just a piece of fiction – may be great but not much more than that. It is much more than that – let me tell you the inside story. JJ wrote it for a mission when he was told of the great calamity that is sure to destroy the humanity in future by Doctor Who and after which only JJ’s novel could save the planet. This is what Doctor Who told him:
In the year 2039, some sort of Virus will destroy the entire humanity while leaving other things intact; then after like a couple of centuries aliens will come on Earth and decide to reengineer humans from DNA and stuff. While they are doing so, they will also find our fiction – and start reading the novels so as to know what sort of creature human beings were. The authors they will find include greats like Jane Austen, Charles Dickens and Homer.
Now imagine their surprise when after having read about greatness of human souls from such geniuses; what they end up creating is a creature who keeps crying, is almost always confused, has weird fantasies and dreams, has a mind that wonders about all sort of things, is not of sort that is always ready to pick fight when it is question of honor, doesn’t say any beautiful quotable lines - even when he is sad, is pervert, picks his nose, farts, lies stupidly in trying to impress, keeps asking for food every few hours, needs to use toilets and so on – Our friendly aliens will think they have made a giant mistake and shall try again from start and upon getting the same result again and again, they will be about to give up; when one of them will suddenly discover ‘Ulysses’ by James Joyce and our very own L. Bloom shall save the humanity.
All the reviewers here seem to think that this is just a piece of fiction – may be great but not much more than that. It is much more than that – let me tell you the inside story. JJ wrote it for a mission when he was told of the great calamity that is sure to destroy the humanity in future by Doctor Who and after which only JJ’s novel could save the planet. This is what Doctor Who told him:
In the year 2039, some sort of Virus will destroy the entire humanity while leaving other things intact; then after like a couple of centuries aliens will come on Earth and decide to reengineer humans from DNA and stuff. While they are doing so, they will also find our fiction – and start reading the novels so as to know what sort of creature human beings were. The authors they will find include greats like Jane Austen, Charles Dickens and Homer.
Now imagine their surprise when after having read about greatness of human souls from such geniuses; what they end up creating is a creature who keeps crying, is almost always confused, has weird fantasies and dreams, has a mind that wonders about all sort of things, is not of sort that is always ready to pick fight when it is question of honor, doesn’t say any beautiful quotable lines - even when he is sad, is pervert, picks his nose, farts, lies stupidly in trying to impress, keeps asking for food every few hours, needs to use toilets and so on – Our friendly aliens will think they have made a giant mistake and shall try again from start and upon getting the same result again and again, they will be about to give up; when one of them will suddenly discover ‘Ulysses’ by James Joyce and our very own L. Bloom shall save the humanity.