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A review by audacity
One for My Enemy by Olivie Blake
dark
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
One for My Enemy is chaotic and its only saving grace is the authors skill with prose. I really hope that an editor goes over this again before they publish it because there is so much potential, but it's buried under nonsensical sentences, inconsistent characters/ pacing, lack of a set magic system or vital background information that would give us context for the current setting. While the author has some very quotable lines scattered throughout the book, the foundations of the story are lackluster at best.
Inconsistent Characters
-Baba Yaga/ Koschei: These two are the reason the families are pitted against each other and we don't get any information about them as characters until we're over a third of the way into the story. I can't buy into the animosity between these families with no emotion from these two or any context. Koschei literally hid in the shadows in a basement and was only pulled out to be slightly developed for plot convenience half-way through. Considering how much of the flimsy excuse of a plot is centered on them you would expect more effort would go into creating these characters.
-Sasha: Youngest daughter, sole child who went to school which seems important to her. Is only part of the public portion of her mother's underground business. She's protected from the negative aspects by her eldest sister Masha. You get this sense of innocence/ sweetness being portrayed and then suddenly she's breaking a guy's face and then jumps right into the nitty grittiness of the dark side of the business, abandoning school, with no preamble? Where is the growth? The emotional aspect of abandoning post-secondary for your family whims and vendetta's? We jumped from point A to point B with no tangible development, and it irked me. *Sidenote: Sasha had to remind herself not to tuck her thumb into her fist while throwing a punch but "The bones of his face splintered beneath her knuckles" is ridiculous. If it's a broken nose it should be the crunch of cartilage, otherwise I think she broke his jaw or cheek bone which is, once again, ridiculous.
Pacing:
-The first 25% of this book was a mess. While it should have been utilized to set the foundations of the story it felt like we were just witnessing the author decide on where she wanted to go with it. There was little consistency.
-Many of the characters didn't start developing until almost halfway through the story. Koschei was just a shadow in the basement. All of Sasha's other sister's were ignored until they become a key point for the plot to go forward. Roman was the spark of this disaster to take off but we didn't get to see it unfold, we were simply told that it happened off page and we don't actually get to see him develop. He was flat until he was tossed in fully formed into the story like Athena jumping out of Zeus's head trying to claim credit for things that didn't naturally align with what we're reading.
Lack of a Magic System:
-This story centres around witches and their power which comes from their magic. So, it stands to reason we should have a basic idea of how it works, right? Apparently not. Magical creatures and items are mentioned but never given any history. We have shadow creatures that are mentioned at the beginning of the story that aren't utilized until the very end. There's mention of other realms but once again that isn't actually shown until the last few chapters.
-What is the source of their magic? We're told that Baba Yaga has a bunch of herbs hanging in the kitchen and uses them in bath bombs and stuff so I'm thinking potions. However, later you see them use innate magic saying that it's all in the blood so organs like kidneys are a strong source of it? Then the sisters have specific powers that no one else seem to have, why? Just to make them more conveniently powerful?
-We are granted a little paragraph that goes like:
"That's an Old World law"....
"It is... my daughters...know their history, their origins, what makes them witches"
Okay, that's nice that they hold this information off-page, but would you mind sharing it with us?! Considering these laws are what trigger the main tragedy and the ruination of the families you think we would have a little more insight of the gravity of them. Yet, they don't seem to be magically enforced, or have any notable significance aside from tradition? It makes all that unfolds after seem pitifully asinine.
The basic foundations of One for My Enemy were terribly neglected. Having someone in the editing process make a timeline of the plot and see how everything actually unfolds, without the prose in the way, might solidify the events in a more intelligible manner. Please put the effort in to give us context! Without it a large portion of what happens is just done out of plot convenience creating a disconnect with the reader. The concept of the "Old World" holds immense potential and it's a shame to see it go to waste. While the prose itself was good it wasn't enough for me to salvage One for My Enemy. As it currently stands, I wouldn't be recommending it to anyone.
Inconsistent Characters
-Baba Yaga/ Koschei: These two are the reason the families are pitted against each other and we don't get any information about them as characters until we're over a third of the way into the story. I can't buy into the animosity between these families with no emotion from these two or any context. Koschei literally hid in the shadows in a basement and was only pulled out to be slightly developed for plot convenience half-way through. Considering how much of the flimsy excuse of a plot is centered on them you would expect more effort would go into creating these characters.
-Sasha: Youngest daughter, sole child who went to school which seems important to her. Is only part of the public portion of her mother's underground business. She's protected from the negative aspects by her eldest sister Masha. You get this sense of innocence/ sweetness being portrayed and then suddenly she's breaking a guy's face and then jumps right into the nitty grittiness of the dark side of the business, abandoning school, with no preamble? Where is the growth? The emotional aspect of abandoning post-secondary for your family whims and vendetta's? We jumped from point A to point B with no tangible development, and it irked me. *Sidenote: Sasha had to remind herself not to tuck her thumb into her fist while throwing a punch but "The bones of his face splintered beneath her knuckles" is ridiculous. If it's a broken nose it should be the crunch of cartilage, otherwise I think she broke his jaw or cheek bone which is, once again, ridiculous.
Pacing:
-The first 25% of this book was a mess. While it should have been utilized to set the foundations of the story it felt like we were just witnessing the author decide on where she wanted to go with it. There was little consistency.
-Many of the characters didn't start developing until almost halfway through the story. Koschei was just a shadow in the basement. All of Sasha's other sister's were ignored until they become a key point for the plot to go forward. Roman was the spark of this disaster to take off but we didn't get to see it unfold, we were simply told that it happened off page and we don't actually get to see him develop. He was flat until he was tossed in fully formed into the story like Athena jumping out of Zeus's head trying to claim credit for things that didn't naturally align with what we're reading.
Lack of a Magic System:
-This story centres around witches and their power which comes from their magic. So, it stands to reason we should have a basic idea of how it works, right? Apparently not. Magical creatures and items are mentioned but never given any history. We have shadow creatures that are mentioned at the beginning of the story that aren't utilized until the very end. There's mention of other realms but once again that isn't actually shown until the last few chapters.
-What is the source of their magic? We're told that Baba Yaga has a bunch of herbs hanging in the kitchen and uses them in bath bombs and stuff so I'm thinking potions. However, later you see them use innate magic saying that it's all in the blood so organs like kidneys are a strong source of it? Then the sisters have specific powers that no one else seem to have, why? Just to make them more conveniently powerful?
-We are granted a little paragraph that goes like:
"That's an Old World law"....
"It is... my daughters...know their history, their origins, what makes them witches"
Okay, that's nice that they hold this information off-page, but would you mind sharing it with us?! Considering these laws are what trigger the main tragedy and the ruination of the families you think we would have a little more insight of the gravity of them. Yet, they don't seem to be magically enforced, or have any notable significance aside from tradition? It makes all that unfolds after seem pitifully asinine.
The basic foundations of One for My Enemy were terribly neglected. Having someone in the editing process make a timeline of the plot and see how everything actually unfolds, without the prose in the way, might solidify the events in a more intelligible manner. Please put the effort in to give us context! Without it a large portion of what happens is just done out of plot convenience creating a disconnect with the reader. The concept of the "Old World" holds immense potential and it's a shame to see it go to waste. While the prose itself was good it wasn't enough for me to salvage One for My Enemy. As it currently stands, I wouldn't be recommending it to anyone.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Murder, Grief, and Death
Minor: Sexual harassment