A review by jedore
Don't Cry for Me by Daniel Black

dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

“Knowledge is a funny thing, Isaac. It informs by exposing. It shows you precisely how much you don’t know.”

I was pulled into this story from the Author’s note at the very beginning. Like the author, my father passed without ever admitting, let alone apologizing, for his major emotional shortcomings. Writing this book was a way for Daniel Black to heal the gaping wounds this leaves behind.

I don’t like to compare the pain of two different people. Pain is pain and no one deserves to have their pain diminished. But, I have to say what Isaac, the gay son who is the recipient of his father’s deathbed letters, went through is FAR worse than what I went through. 

On top of a typical dysfunctional family, he has the added horrors of the impact of slavery and being black in the U.S., being gay in a subculture that considers it an abhorrence, and the lack of love, tenderness and communication when it was needed most. I honestly don’t know if I would be able to climb out of a hole that deep. 

Reading the imagined letters that the reformed father wrote to Isaac was definitely a soothing salve. Many of the things he conveyed explained some of the characteristics and behaviors of my own father (and other men I know and love), so it was helpful for me personally as well. 

That being said, I still find it difficult to excuse my middle class white father for his emotional neglect. A black man of the same generation is a whole other story.

I highly recommend this book to anyone with daddy issues stemming from a hyper-stern and inexpressive father born in the early to mid-1900s, as well as anyone walking the path toward anti-racism. It’s a very quick, deeply emotional, and insightful read.
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