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A review by marthagal
Lonely: A Memoir by Emily White
3.0
LONELY is part memoir and part scientific exploration of the state of loneliness. I really enjoyed the memoir part of the book, the science less so.
I lived alone for four years in my mid-twenties, and I would say I was slightly lonely during that time. I had a great social life and plenty of friends, but I was missing what White calls "the quiet presence of another person" - either a roommate or a friend that would just hang out without talking or actively doing things together. Getting married has solved that problem for me, but I wish I would have had this book to read back then. It would have made me understand what I was feeling, and not feel like there was something odd about me.
I liked this quote about the Internet and relationships and connectedness:
"If you're staring down a lion, what you need are other people on hand with tranquilizer guns. The fact that someone might be sending encouragements on their Blackberry doesn't really cut it."
Sometimes I feel like the Internet makes it easier to not *really* be there for a friend, but still feel like I've done my duty because I wrote Happy Birthday on their wall. I have to work harder to make myself not be lazy and give people that are important to me a call or make plans to do something in person.
I'm giving this only three stars because I found all the studies about loneliness sort of boring. I understand their purpose, and she succeeded in convincing me about the nature of loneliness, but I found myself skimming and wonder if those sections could have been edited down a bit. Having said that, I enjoyed it and think it would be a great read for anyone who regularly feels lonely.
I lived alone for four years in my mid-twenties, and I would say I was slightly lonely during that time. I had a great social life and plenty of friends, but I was missing what White calls "the quiet presence of another person" - either a roommate or a friend that would just hang out without talking or actively doing things together. Getting married has solved that problem for me, but I wish I would have had this book to read back then. It would have made me understand what I was feeling, and not feel like there was something odd about me.
I liked this quote about the Internet and relationships and connectedness:
"If you're staring down a lion, what you need are other people on hand with tranquilizer guns. The fact that someone might be sending encouragements on their Blackberry doesn't really cut it."
Sometimes I feel like the Internet makes it easier to not *really* be there for a friend, but still feel like I've done my duty because I wrote Happy Birthday on their wall. I have to work harder to make myself not be lazy and give people that are important to me a call or make plans to do something in person.
I'm giving this only three stars because I found all the studies about loneliness sort of boring. I understand their purpose, and she succeeded in convincing me about the nature of loneliness, but I found myself skimming and wonder if those sections could have been edited down a bit. Having said that, I enjoyed it and think it would be a great read for anyone who regularly feels lonely.