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A review by isabellarobinson7
Doctor Who: Heroes and Monsters Collection by Moray Laing, Gary Russell, Jason Loborik, Jacqueline Rayner, Justin Richards, Stephen Cole
3.0
Rating: 3 stars
Keeping this record was both a blessing and a curse. It was good because I could remember each story, but it also meant that I had my phone on hand while I was reading so if an obtrusive thought popped into my head, as they always do, then Wikipedia was right at hand to find out why the name Otto von Bismarck sounded so familiar. The combination of said thoughts paired with the almost limitless accessibility of the digital world (always a dangerous mix when it comes to my brain) would inevitably lead to me falling head first down a research rabbit hole, completely neglecting the book still open on my lap. The result: it took me 34 days to read this 334 page book. Not my typical reading speed.
1. The Stranger: War Doctor saves some kids during the Time War… or does he? We all know what he did in the Time War… The only War Doctor story, which is sad.
2. The Hero Factor: The Doctor’s reputation precedes him. It starts and is over pretty quickly. (Note from Future Me: this last sentence was true for pretty much all these stories.)
3. Mission to Galacton: Daleks do some stuff. It is weird seeing/hearing/reading Daleks giving like ship orders and stuff Star Trek style, because urgency is not really in their voice capacity. Plus, it is a Dalek story, and even when I have no audiobook with the narrator doing the voice, I can't help but do it in my head, so I always end up reading it slowly. It ends how you would expect a Dalek story to end: “DALEKS CONQUER AND DESTROY!!”
4. Stamp of Approval: Haha play on words. This one’s about stamp collecting. There’s some hypnosis stuff (but no Master) and ink. Lots of ink. The end.
5. The Final Darkness: This one is from the POV of the Sycorax. Yeah, those dudes who controlled all the people with blood. This is like the prequel to and their version of that episode (The Christmas Invasion…? I think that was what it was called) were they find the human blood in space they need to do that and then do it. There are also the following exclamations: “Sycorax rock!” “Sycorax strong!” and “Sycorax mighty!” Brilliant. Also this: “Now one third of all human scum are compelled to climb high buildings and stand on the brink of falling-down-ness.”
6. No Fun at the Fair: Yessssssss Slitheen. Shut up, I love them. They are funny. Also there is this exchange between Rose and the Doctor:
“ 'A Slitheen! In there!' She gestured towards the ghost train. 'Big, green, scary...'
'Sure it wasn't Frankenstein's Monster? Or your
mum in a mood?' "
7. Taking Mickey: Mickey Mouse! He gets in some trouble and needs help. But never mind he can do it by himself!
8. Needlepoint: Martha sees lots of old ladies. And they all like knitting to save energy. Aha! This is how we will fix global warming: knitting without any thread to make energy. Perfect. Nobel prize please.
9. A Dog’s Life: Guess who? K-9 obviously! And he saves Sarah Jane Smith. It is told from his perspective so reads like a series of log entries.
10. The Secret of the Stones: Not about the Rolling Stones unfortunately, but Stonehenge. But (spoiler) they don’t really find anything. Sad. I was kind of excited when I found out what this one was going to (actually) be about, but because these stories have such a minimal page count, little to nothing comes of it.
11. The Planet That Wept: “The dew dripped from the trees by the beach like teardrops. Twin suns sparkled on the azure waters.” Tatooine has water now!! “Then the face in the bark of the tree opened its eyes.” Ents!!!!!!!! And then it becomes a lazy climate change allegory. Remember Orphan 55? Like that… except this 10 page story had better pacing.
12. Disappearing Act: Yessssssss Ood “ 'I’d have gotten away with it if it weren’t for that meddling Doctor and his friend,' he raged.
'Quite possibly,' Agent Rayner agreed."
13. Once Upon a Time: Some story keeps changing. The whole thing. It keeps breaking its own rules, starting again from the beginning. Huh, sounds like Doctor Who today…
14. Best Friends: This one was sweet (and looking back probably the best story overall). Captain Jack helps out a little boy who is being used as a fair ground attraction answering any question about the future… until Jack asks him something that stumps him: “how will I die?”
15. Most Beautiful Music: This one is about David Bowie. Nah, but Donna says something that is kind of close: " 'So,' Donna said, 'apart from the most beautiful music in the universe - which Mum always told me was The Beatles anyway - what else should I watch out for?' " The Doctor seems to go from “I don’t know anything about it” to his usual info dumping, but maybe a bit too quickly.
16. Secret of Arkatron: The first 11 story. In a spooky museum but it has secrets. It tried to fit too much into the limited page count
17. Blind Terror: Sontar-ha! There is a very intelligent Sontaran who can distinguish between two genders. He must have come out first from one of the cloning pods.
18. Amy’s Escapade: Amy makes a friend of a little boy and there are some Judoon too. And a food fight.
19. Rory’s Adventure: This one was like what Rory was doing while Amy was doing the stuff in the previous story.
20. The Fifty-year Delay: This one is Pat Rothfass’s writing career. Nah, it's not, but I wish. It’s four pages how much can really happen. It's about a train being super late. Don’t really know where the hero or the monster was.
21. Birth of a Legend: So this one takes place on the 30th of April- nah I kid you, it Dalek story. It is all about the beginning of the Cult of Skaro (you know, the Daleks that had pig people slaves in New York in the 1930's in that two parter with Andrew Garfield). Thanks to this story now whenever I see the Daleks fly I will always have “it rose majestically” in my head.
22. Lorna’s Escape: This goes for like under five pages (can’t be bothered counting despite having the book in my hands) and it is just this girl running with her dad, seeing the Doctor and going wow. The end
23. Going Off the Rails: Cybermen!! Finally. We have had a serious lack of the golden oldies here. Some kids build a train set (ah I remember the good old days) and then boom it’s a Cyberman. Cyberman tries to convert them, they don’t want to be, yadda yadda yadda.
24. Normality: Clara! About time she showed up. They talk about those floaty things in your eyes when you look at light too long and (of course) that they are aliens. Then Clara back at school teaching.
25. When the Wolves Came: This one is a Wheel of Time prequel when Elias becomes a Wolfbrother. Nah. I actually didn't write anything for this one, let me check... ok there's a kid who's scared and the Doctor saves him. Pretty standard.
26. Buyer’s Remorse: Doctor goes to a rainy planet (to which he quickly says ”Planet, I name thee ‘Wet’ ”). Then he buys some socks. He then has to enter an online chat forum type thing (don’t ask) where his username is JohnSmith12. Because of course it is. All felt a little Douglas Adams.
DONE. Phew.
Keeping this record was both a blessing and a curse. It was good because I could remember each story, but it also meant that I had my phone on hand while I was reading so if an obtrusive thought popped into my head, as they always do, then Wikipedia was right at hand to find out why the name Otto von Bismarck sounded so familiar. The combination of said thoughts paired with the almost limitless accessibility of the digital world (always a dangerous mix when it comes to my brain) would inevitably lead to me falling head first down a research rabbit hole, completely neglecting the book still open on my lap. The result: it took me 34 days to read this 334 page book. Not my typical reading speed.
1. The Stranger: War Doctor saves some kids during the Time War… or does he? We all know what he did in the Time War… The only War Doctor story, which is sad.
2. The Hero Factor: The Doctor’s reputation precedes him. It starts and is over pretty quickly. (Note from Future Me: this last sentence was true for pretty much all these stories.)
3. Mission to Galacton: Daleks do some stuff. It is weird seeing/hearing/reading Daleks giving like ship orders and stuff Star Trek style, because urgency is not really in their voice capacity. Plus, it is a Dalek story, and even when I have no audiobook with the narrator doing the voice, I can't help but do it in my head, so I always end up reading it slowly. It ends how you would expect a Dalek story to end: “DALEKS CONQUER AND DESTROY!!”
4. Stamp of Approval: Haha play on words. This one’s about stamp collecting. There’s some hypnosis stuff (but no Master) and ink. Lots of ink. The end.
5. The Final Darkness: This one is from the POV of the Sycorax. Yeah, those dudes who controlled all the people with blood. This is like the prequel to and their version of that episode (The Christmas Invasion…? I think that was what it was called) were they find the human blood in space they need to do that and then do it. There are also the following exclamations: “Sycorax rock!” “Sycorax strong!” and “Sycorax mighty!” Brilliant. Also this: “Now one third of all human scum are compelled to climb high buildings and stand on the brink of falling-down-ness.”
6. No Fun at the Fair: Yessssssss Slitheen. Shut up, I love them. They are funny. Also there is this exchange between Rose and the Doctor:
“ 'A Slitheen! In there!' She gestured towards the ghost train. 'Big, green, scary...'
'Sure it wasn't Frankenstein's Monster? Or your
mum in a mood?' "
7. Taking Mickey: Mickey Mouse! He gets in some trouble and needs help. But never mind he can do it by himself!
8. Needlepoint: Martha sees lots of old ladies. And they all like knitting to save energy. Aha! This is how we will fix global warming: knitting without any thread to make energy. Perfect. Nobel prize please.
9. A Dog’s Life: Guess who? K-9 obviously! And he saves Sarah Jane Smith. It is told from his perspective so reads like a series of log entries.
10. The Secret of the Stones: Not about the Rolling Stones unfortunately, but Stonehenge. But (spoiler) they don’t really find anything. Sad. I was kind of excited when I found out what this one was going to (actually) be about, but because these stories have such a minimal page count, little to nothing comes of it.
11. The Planet That Wept: “The dew dripped from the trees by the beach like teardrops. Twin suns sparkled on the azure waters.” Tatooine has water now!! “Then the face in the bark of the tree opened its eyes.” Ents!!!!!!!! And then it becomes a lazy climate change allegory. Remember Orphan 55? Like that… except this 10 page story had better pacing.
12. Disappearing Act: Yessssssss Ood “ 'I’d have gotten away with it if it weren’t for that meddling Doctor and his friend,' he raged.
'Quite possibly,' Agent Rayner agreed."
13. Once Upon a Time: Some story keeps changing. The whole thing. It keeps breaking its own rules, starting again from the beginning. Huh, sounds like Doctor Who today…
14. Best Friends: This one was sweet (and looking back probably the best story overall). Captain Jack helps out a little boy who is being used as a fair ground attraction answering any question about the future… until Jack asks him something that stumps him: “how will I die?”
15. Most Beautiful Music: This one is about David Bowie. Nah, but Donna says something that is kind of close: " 'So,' Donna said, 'apart from the most beautiful music in the universe - which Mum always told me was The Beatles anyway - what else should I watch out for?' " The Doctor seems to go from “I don’t know anything about it” to his usual info dumping, but maybe a bit too quickly.
16. Secret of Arkatron: The first 11 story. In a spooky museum but it has secrets. It tried to fit too much into the limited page count
17. Blind Terror: Sontar-ha! There is a very intelligent Sontaran who can distinguish between two genders. He must have come out first from one of the cloning pods.
18. Amy’s Escapade: Amy makes a friend of a little boy and there are some Judoon too. And a food fight.
19. Rory’s Adventure: This one was like what Rory was doing while Amy was doing the stuff in the previous story.
20. The Fifty-year Delay: This one is Pat Rothfass’s writing career. Nah, it's not, but I wish. It’s four pages how much can really happen. It's about a train being super late. Don’t really know where the hero or the monster was.
21. Birth of a Legend: So this one takes place on the 30th of April- nah I kid you, it Dalek story. It is all about the beginning of the Cult of Skaro (you know, the Daleks that had pig people slaves in New York in the 1930's in that two parter with Andrew Garfield). Thanks to this story now whenever I see the Daleks fly I will always have “it rose majestically” in my head.
22. Lorna’s Escape: This goes for like under five pages (can’t be bothered counting despite having the book in my hands) and it is just this girl running with her dad, seeing the Doctor and going wow. The end
23. Going Off the Rails: Cybermen!! Finally. We have had a serious lack of the golden oldies here. Some kids build a train set (ah I remember the good old days) and then boom it’s a Cyberman. Cyberman tries to convert them, they don’t want to be, yadda yadda yadda.
24. Normality: Clara! About time she showed up. They talk about those floaty things in your eyes when you look at light too long and (of course) that they are aliens. Then Clara back at school teaching.
25. When the Wolves Came: This one is a Wheel of Time prequel when Elias becomes a Wolfbrother. Nah. I actually didn't write anything for this one, let me check... ok there's a kid who's scared and the Doctor saves him. Pretty standard.
26. Buyer’s Remorse: Doctor goes to a rainy planet (to which he quickly says ”Planet, I name thee ‘Wet’ ”). Then he buys some socks. He then has to enter an online chat forum type thing (don’t ask) where his username is JohnSmith12. Because of course it is. All felt a little Douglas Adams.
DONE. Phew.