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thebourbonsippingbibliophile 's review for:
How to Win Friends & Influence People
by Dale Carnegie
When I first picked up Dale Carnegie’s classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People, I had one expectation: a guide to making friends in everyday situations—whether at school, in social settings, or just out and about. Instead, I found a book heavily focused on the workplace. Initially, this was a bit jarring, but as I delved deeper, I realized the true value of Carnegie’s insights.
Let me start by saying that this book is a gem for anyone looking to excel in their career. If you’re aiming to land a job, secure a promotion, become an effective leader, or expand your professional network, Carnegie’s advice is invaluable. He provides a treasure trove of strategies that can help you navigate the complexities of workplace relationships. However, if you’re more interested in building genuine, lasting friendships outside the office, you might find the content a bit lacking.
Carnegie often uses examples from the lives of tycoons, presidents, and other influential figures to illustrate his points. This choice of examples clued me in early that this wasn’t your typical "how to make friends" book. It’s more about how to make an impression, how to listen effectively (even if you’re just pretending), and how to use these skills to your advantage, particularly in a professional setting.
One part that stood out to me—and not necessarily in a good way—was when Carnegie suggested making time for people by listening to them, even if you have to pretend to be interested. He shared a story about listening to a woman talk for hours, pretending to be engaged. To me, this seemed more like a tactic for getting ahead in the workplace rather than a way to forge genuine friendships. If the goal is true connection, why fake interest?
This theme continues with another story where Carnegie spent an hour listening to a boss talk about his dog, which eventually led to the boss offering him a free dog. Carnegie used this as an example of how being attentive can yield tangible rewards. But again, the focus seemed to be more on what you can get out of the interaction, rather than forming a real bond.
Despite these reservations, there’s no denying that the book is well-written, albeit a bit repetitive at times. Carnegie backs up his advice with numerous examples, often hammering the same point home with multiple anecdotes. This can be somewhat tedious if you’ve already grasped the concept, but it also reinforces the effectiveness of his techniques.
That said, this book isn’t for everyone. If you’re introverted, shy, or uncomfortable with putting yourself out there, you might find it challenging. Before diving into Carnegie’s world, it might be worth building up your self-esteem and confidence with other resources.
To sum up, How to Win Friends and Influence People is a powerful tool for anyone looking to succeed in the business world. The key takeaways? Be kind to people, make time for them, avoid criticism, smile, remember names, and, when necessary, pretend to be interested. But if you’re looking to make friends who are more than just workplace connections—friends who will stick around even when you don’t need a favor—you might want to look elsewhere.
Carnegie’s advice is timeless, even if some of the examples feel a bit dated. The principles he lays out can still be applied to modern communication, whether it’s through email, face-to-face interactions, or any other medium. However, be mindful of how you use these techniques. Friendship is a two-way street, and while Carnegie shows you how to navigate your side of the road, it’s up to you to ensure that your journey leads to genuine connections, not just transactional relationships.
In the end, this book is a must-read for anyone serious about advancing their career, but if you’re looking for something more personal and authentic, you might want to supplement it with other resources.
Let me start by saying that this book is a gem for anyone looking to excel in their career. If you’re aiming to land a job, secure a promotion, become an effective leader, or expand your professional network, Carnegie’s advice is invaluable. He provides a treasure trove of strategies that can help you navigate the complexities of workplace relationships. However, if you’re more interested in building genuine, lasting friendships outside the office, you might find the content a bit lacking.
Carnegie often uses examples from the lives of tycoons, presidents, and other influential figures to illustrate his points. This choice of examples clued me in early that this wasn’t your typical "how to make friends" book. It’s more about how to make an impression, how to listen effectively (even if you’re just pretending), and how to use these skills to your advantage, particularly in a professional setting.
One part that stood out to me—and not necessarily in a good way—was when Carnegie suggested making time for people by listening to them, even if you have to pretend to be interested. He shared a story about listening to a woman talk for hours, pretending to be engaged. To me, this seemed more like a tactic for getting ahead in the workplace rather than a way to forge genuine friendships. If the goal is true connection, why fake interest?
This theme continues with another story where Carnegie spent an hour listening to a boss talk about his dog, which eventually led to the boss offering him a free dog. Carnegie used this as an example of how being attentive can yield tangible rewards. But again, the focus seemed to be more on what you can get out of the interaction, rather than forming a real bond.
Despite these reservations, there’s no denying that the book is well-written, albeit a bit repetitive at times. Carnegie backs up his advice with numerous examples, often hammering the same point home with multiple anecdotes. This can be somewhat tedious if you’ve already grasped the concept, but it also reinforces the effectiveness of his techniques.
That said, this book isn’t for everyone. If you’re introverted, shy, or uncomfortable with putting yourself out there, you might find it challenging. Before diving into Carnegie’s world, it might be worth building up your self-esteem and confidence with other resources.
To sum up, How to Win Friends and Influence People is a powerful tool for anyone looking to succeed in the business world. The key takeaways? Be kind to people, make time for them, avoid criticism, smile, remember names, and, when necessary, pretend to be interested. But if you’re looking to make friends who are more than just workplace connections—friends who will stick around even when you don’t need a favor—you might want to look elsewhere.
Carnegie’s advice is timeless, even if some of the examples feel a bit dated. The principles he lays out can still be applied to modern communication, whether it’s through email, face-to-face interactions, or any other medium. However, be mindful of how you use these techniques. Friendship is a two-way street, and while Carnegie shows you how to navigate your side of the road, it’s up to you to ensure that your journey leads to genuine connections, not just transactional relationships.
In the end, this book is a must-read for anyone serious about advancing their career, but if you’re looking for something more personal and authentic, you might want to supplement it with other resources.