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A review by whatthefridge
I Chose to Die by Ksenia Anske
2.0
The premise of this story is anti-suicide. However, the fantasy in this fiction ruins a lot of the empathy factor.
Ailen Bright is naive, resentful, and self-destructive. She's the epitome of teenage angst, and we meet her at her darkest hour: she decides suicide is her best option in the face of an abusive, misogynist father and a mother who killed herself and left Ailen alone with him. The only silver lining is Ailen's best friend, Hunter, and her inanimate siren sisters who decorate the bathtub she plans to drown in.
The story deconstructs the foolishness of choosing suicide. It's an intense experience watching Ailen struggle with the consequences of her choice. It's even more frightening how she escapes into internal fantasies of siren sisters to avoid the reality of her life.
But that leads you only through the first few chapters.
The siren mythology becomes the dominant aspect of the story. See, the sirens are actually real, and they want to help Ailen. This is when the narrative transforms into this action/adventure involving siren hunters and magic, losing the majority of the introspection it had before. I'm told what to think and feel as Ailen runs around indecisively, the focus of everyone's attention as she whines and mopes about not being loved. She doesn't get the opportunity to develop or mature because all her bad decisions are wiped clean, which leads me to believe that if there was no supernatural intervention, this would be a far, far darker story.
The later parts of the novel are groan-worthy. I'd go as far as to say every character loses their depth for the sake of an archetype: hero, villain, love interest, fairy godmother, etc. The only reason this is part of a trilogy is because nothing is answered except that Ailen isn't dead, her final decision more of an unwilling circumstance rather than a true character turning point.
It's less about anti-suicide and more about wish fulfillment.
Ailen Bright is naive, resentful, and self-destructive. She's the epitome of teenage angst, and we meet her at her darkest hour: she decides suicide is her best option in the face of an abusive, misogynist father and a mother who killed herself and left Ailen alone with him. The only silver lining is Ailen's best friend, Hunter, and her inanimate siren sisters who decorate the bathtub she plans to drown in.
The story deconstructs the foolishness of choosing suicide. It's an intense experience watching Ailen struggle with the consequences of her choice. It's even more frightening how she escapes into internal fantasies of siren sisters to avoid the reality of her life.
But that leads you only through the first few chapters.
The siren mythology becomes the dominant aspect of the story. See, the sirens are actually real, and they want to help Ailen. This is when the narrative transforms into this action/adventure involving siren hunters and magic, losing the majority of the introspection it had before. I'm told what to think and feel as Ailen runs around indecisively, the focus of everyone's attention as she whines and mopes about not being loved. She doesn't get the opportunity to develop or mature because all her bad decisions are wiped clean, which leads me to believe that if there was no supernatural intervention, this would be a far, far darker story.
The later parts of the novel are groan-worthy. I'd go as far as to say every character loses their depth for the sake of an archetype: hero, villain, love interest, fairy godmother, etc. The only reason this is part of a trilogy is because nothing is answered except that Ailen isn't dead, her final decision more of an unwilling circumstance rather than a true character turning point.
It's less about anti-suicide and more about wish fulfillment.