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A review by tmledvina
This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel
challenging
emotional
informative
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
I am struggling with what score to give this book.
On one hand - I found myself totally and completely captivated by the Walsh-Adams family and the writing style. The book itself is fabulous and the prose is excellent.
I fell hard for the boys, the brothers, and their silly boyish antics and how they loved Poppy with every fiber of their beings. They felt so real to me that I, a child free person by choice, actually wondered what it might be like to have a gaggle of boys like that.
The family dynamics also caught my interest, and I really enjoyed the way parenting was shown as a constant, ever-changing battle.
Poppy herself was honestly very sweet. I wanted to wrap her up and give her all the love and snuggles she deserves because God she is such a good kid. She has my whole heart!
I also really liked the narrator, even if her pronunciation of Wisconsin was weird (as a born and bred Wisconsinite, no one ever says it right except us). Her voice was smooth and easy to listen to!
Now here's why I gave this less than four stars.
I hated Rosie. I hated her so much I would legitimately scream at her in my car when she'd say something or think something. I understand why she was the way she was, why she had such a hard time with Poppy/Claude and the transition. I understand her character completely. It doesn't mean I hated her any less.
I liked Penn a bit more, but he also annoyed the shit out of me. Where Rosie went the direction of almost being transphobic in places, Penn went the complete opposite and was way too much in places.
I KNOW they're not supposed to be perfect, and if anything, the fact I hated them in their own ways was probably indicative of how well this was written. But as a member of the queer community myself, I don't find this to be a great roadmap for championing queer issues. It's written mostly from the perspective of cis hetero people, and these issues are incredibly delicate.
This doesn't mean I didn't like it, but I really hope people don't read this book and see it as the epitome of raising a trans kid. Because you can do a LOT better (and frankly, should) than Rosie and Penn did with Poppy.
At the end of the day, I really did like the story and it was nice to read something that wasn't just all good in every way. This book was challenging for me in the best kind of way, and I think because of that it deserves the praise it receives. My feelings for it are complex and that's more than I've felt about a book for a long time.
On one hand - I found myself totally and completely captivated by the Walsh-Adams family and the writing style. The book itself is fabulous and the prose is excellent.
I fell hard for the boys, the brothers, and their silly boyish antics and how they loved Poppy with every fiber of their beings. They felt so real to me that I, a child free person by choice, actually wondered what it might be like to have a gaggle of boys like that.
The family dynamics also caught my interest, and I really enjoyed the way parenting was shown as a constant, ever-changing battle.
Poppy herself was honestly very sweet. I wanted to wrap her up and give her all the love and snuggles she deserves because God she is such a good kid. She has my whole heart!
I also really liked the narrator, even if her pronunciation of Wisconsin was weird (as a born and bred Wisconsinite, no one ever says it right except us). Her voice was smooth and easy to listen to!
Now here's why I gave this less than four stars.
I hated Rosie. I hated her so much I would legitimately scream at her in my car when she'd say something or think something. I understand why she was the way she was, why she had such a hard time with Poppy/Claude and the transition. I understand her character completely. It doesn't mean I hated her any less.
I liked Penn a bit more, but he also annoyed the shit out of me. Where Rosie went the direction of almost being transphobic in places, Penn went the complete opposite and was way too much in places.
I KNOW they're not supposed to be perfect, and if anything, the fact I hated them in their own ways was probably indicative of how well this was written. But as a member of the queer community myself, I don't find this to be a great roadmap for championing queer issues. It's written mostly from the perspective of cis hetero people, and these issues are incredibly delicate.
This doesn't mean I didn't like it, but I really hope people don't read this book and see it as the epitome of raising a trans kid. Because you can do a LOT better (and frankly, should) than Rosie and Penn did with Poppy.
At the end of the day, I really did like the story and it was nice to read something that wasn't just all good in every way. This book was challenging for me in the best kind of way, and I think because of that it deserves the praise it receives. My feelings for it are complex and that's more than I've felt about a book for a long time.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Outing, Transphobia, and Deadnaming
Moderate: Medical content and Medical trauma