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A review by sinamile
A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas
0.0
Audiobook Review
CW/TW at the end of the review || Paused: 67%
oh boy, I'm Tamlin defense squad, I guess, please don't shame me
This is a reread, so, apparently, I have many—surprisingly long—thoughts.
1. I still miss awakward boy High Lord Tamlin. I miss how he tried to hard to be impressive but was so, so damn awkward and endearing. I miss laughing at his 'moves', at him trying to impress Feyre and instead just coming off as an awkward, awakward loser. I miss him and I love him.
2. Every time Tamlin does something awful here I cannot forget how much trauma he has gone through. Like okay, listen, don't get me wrong, okay: Having trauma does not mean you're allowed to be an asshole, okay, so get that out of your head.
However, because this is a book and I can accept a redemption arc for characters I like (don't judge me!), I can look at Tamlin, judge him for all he's done (which is a lot), all the mistakes he's made in the name of trying to protect the people he loves (which are a lot), and I can say I care for this awkward boy and want him to have his redemption arc.
More than a redemption arc though, I need this boy to go to therapy. I need him to have a no nonsense therapist who will 100% be unafraid of him when he starts to break and shatter and lose his temper. I want someone unafraid to look him in the eye and say “Don't bullshit yourself, and definitely don't bullshit me”. And I don't want the therapist to turn out to be his soulmate. Tamlin does not need a soulmate right now, Tamlin needs a professional who is unafraid to give him hard truths.
3. I realise why it's taken me so to actually come back to this book. It's because of Tamlin, becuase I loved his character so much in the first book that when he came back and he was this, I just couldn't get over it. It hurts to see him the way he is, an uncaring asshole who keeps making awful decisions and allowing others to make awful decisions in his name. He is not making good choices and is ruining relationships and I cannot. I need this boy to go to therapy. Becuase imagjne the amount of emotional baggage he is lugging around while trying to pretend he's got it all together. Yoikes.
4. Sarah J. Maas is so good at writing characters with trauma and depression. She's so careful with them and I love it. She doesn't gloss away from them, goes deep into it. And it doesn't hurt that her writing is top-notch. She has a gift with words, no lie, knows how to put a story together.
5. I love Lucien so, so, so much. I want a Lucien backstory more than anything.
6. Ianthe. Am I allowed to say I want to physically fight Ianthe. She is so manipulative and she's gotten Tamlin at the right moment becuase boy is deep in the trauma. I like her as a villain though, like seeing her scheme and conive and slowly squirm her way into Tamlin's head. She's so good at whispering the right words, at using Tamlin's fears against him to get what she wants. Ma'am is really out here trying to convince Tamlin to side with evil fae king and with the way she's doing it, under the guise of caring, of 'to protect Feyre, Tamlin', she looks like she's succeeding. We Stan a bad bitch, but also like not because she's evil, lmao. But I still stan her with her Lilith ways (but Lilith was misunderstood, so is she really like Lilith?)
7. “That voice—like shadows given form, dark and smooth and … cold.”
Guess who stans traumatised sad boys. This guy right here. And there is no traumatised sad boy I Stan more than Azriel. I'm so glad Az has the friends he does because I can only imagine what kind of awful nonsense he'd get up to otherwise with his traumatised soul and his power so great its almost frightening. Maybe I'm exaggerating because I love him so much, but lowkey, I think he's like so damn powerful it brings shivers down poeples spines (just not his friends because they know he's a awkward sad boy too).
8. “Azriel’s brows flicked up with approval as the shadows seemed to wrap tighter around him.”
Yum, David (yes, I've been watching Schitt's Creek)
9. AMREN. AMREN. AMREN. Look, Amren could devour me whole and I'd thank her as I slid down her throat because yum, David. I love mysterious ancient characters and Amren it as ancient and mysterious as they get. There is so much about her that is dark and unknowable and I desperately want to know but I am afraid of what will be revealed. But the thought of Amren only just barely controlling her power, at just barely holding back on destroying the entire world makes me want to shimmy because YUM, DAVID.
10. The narrator captures Azriel's voice so well that every time he 'talks' I lose my sh*t just a little bit. I love Azriel so damn much. This might've somehow turned into a Tamlin defense squad review, but in this house we stan Azriel more than anyone else in the world. I love this sad boy so much and I want to learn so much more about him. Please lord, I lowkey don't want him to find a mate, just someone who'll love him without the 'fated bond' thing. I want him to fall in love naturally and to find happiness without whomever is good for him, not made for him, yah know. I don't want him to have to push for a relationship with someone because that person is their mate. No.
(No brain, what the f#ck is wrong with you, you cannot ship those two sad boys together. Tamlin still needs to sit alone and just work through all his problems becuase he has many, many of those)
11. Trauma doesn't allow a person to be an asshole, but I can easily understand why someone would choose that over letting their emotions come to the forefront. Which is why I can mostly forgive Nesta for her actions. She's hurt, her life was ripped from her, she watched her mother die, her father got tortured before her eyes, and instead of letting herself emote she locked up. From the whisperings I hear she's been through it and kept it all to herself instead of letting herself get help, so I understand where she is emotionally. But, however, actually, she still hurt her sister, still emotionally abused her, belittling her despite all the work she did to make sure they didn't starve to death. It's.... I don't know.
I guess it hurts me so much becuase I don't know what I'd do if my siblings were like that to me. We're so tight-knit, me and my siblings, that the thought of any one of us treating the others the way Nesta treats Feyre just irks me the wrong way. And to make it worse, Nesta had a clear favourite, and like imagine risking your life everyday to make sure your family doesn't starve and then coming home to watching the people you're helping care over each other and not you.
Nope, can't be me.
So that's why I find it hard to fully be in Nesta's corner, to Stan her as much as I want to—because she is a bad bitch even as a human. I know my best friend loves her, and from what she's told me Nesta's story is expanded on and we start to see more of her as a person. However, it still chaffs that she chose to protect one sister and belittle the other, because maybe she thought the other could look after herself. But lol, that's not how it works. And Feyre's the youngest, so that just makes it worse for me.
But I'm open to forgiving her, open to letting her grow, open to understanding her, understanding why she thought being awful to Feyre was a good way to I don't know what. If I can find reasons for Tamlin to be redeemed then I sure as hell can see all the reasons why Nesta can be redeemed (because again this is a book and these aren't real life people and there is still space for them to get their redemption arcs. If this were real life and they were real people, lol to them because I was going to be weary as hell of them for the rest of my life
CW/TW at the end of the review || Paused: 67%
This is a reread, so, apparently, I have many—surprisingly long—thoughts.
1. I still miss awakward boy High Lord Tamlin. I miss how he tried to hard to be impressive but was so, so damn awkward and endearing. I miss laughing at his 'moves', at him trying to impress Feyre and instead just coming off as an awkward, awakward loser. I miss him and I love him.
2. Every time Tamlin does something awful here I cannot forget how much trauma he has gone through. Like okay, listen, don't get me wrong, okay: Having trauma does not mean you're allowed to be an asshole, okay, so get that out of your head.
However, because this is a book and I can accept a redemption arc for characters I like (don't judge me!), I can look at Tamlin, judge him for all he's done (which is a lot), all the mistakes he's made in the name of trying to protect the people he loves (which are a lot), and I can say I care for this awkward boy and want him to have his redemption arc.
More than a redemption arc though, I need this boy to go to therapy. I need him to have a no nonsense therapist who will 100% be unafraid of him when he starts to break and shatter and lose his temper. I want someone unafraid to look him in the eye and say “Don't bullshit yourself, and definitely don't bullshit me”. And I don't want the therapist to turn out to be his soulmate. Tamlin does not need a soulmate right now, Tamlin needs a professional who is unafraid to give him hard truths.
3. I realise why it's taken me so to actually come back to this book. It's because of Tamlin, becuase I loved his character so much in the first book that when he came back and he was this, I just couldn't get over it. It hurts to see him the way he is, an uncaring asshole who keeps making awful decisions and allowing others to make awful decisions in his name. He is not making good choices and is ruining relationships and I cannot. I need this boy to go to therapy. Becuase imagjne the amount of emotional baggage he is lugging around while trying to pretend he's got it all together. Yoikes.
4. Sarah J. Maas is so good at writing characters with trauma and depression. She's so careful with them and I love it. She doesn't gloss away from them, goes deep into it. And it doesn't hurt that her writing is top-notch. She has a gift with words, no lie, knows how to put a story together.
5. I love Lucien so, so, so much. I want a Lucien backstory more than anything.
6. Ianthe. Am I allowed to say I want to physically fight Ianthe. She is so manipulative and she's gotten Tamlin at the right moment becuase boy is deep in the trauma. I like her as a villain though, like seeing her scheme and conive and slowly squirm her way into Tamlin's head. She's so good at whispering the right words, at using Tamlin's fears against him to get what she wants. Ma'am is really out here trying to convince Tamlin to side with evil fae king and with the way she's doing it, under the guise of caring, of 'to protect Feyre, Tamlin', she looks like she's succeeding. We Stan a bad bitch, but also like not because she's evil, lmao. But I still stan her with her Lilith ways (but Lilith was misunderstood, so is she really like Lilith?)
7. “That voice—like shadows given form, dark and smooth and … cold.”
Guess who stans traumatised sad boys. This guy right here. And there is no traumatised sad boy I Stan more than Azriel. I'm so glad Az has the friends he does because I can only imagine what kind of awful nonsense he'd get up to otherwise with his traumatised soul and his power so great its almost frightening. Maybe I'm exaggerating because I love him so much, but lowkey, I think he's like so damn powerful it brings shivers down poeples spines (just not his friends because they know he's a awkward sad boy too).
8. “Azriel’s brows flicked up with approval as the shadows seemed to wrap tighter around him.”
Yum, David (yes, I've been watching Schitt's Creek)
9. AMREN. AMREN. AMREN. Look, Amren could devour me whole and I'd thank her as I slid down her throat because yum, David. I love mysterious ancient characters and Amren it as ancient and mysterious as they get. There is so much about her that is dark and unknowable and I desperately want to know but I am afraid of what will be revealed. But the thought of Amren only just barely controlling her power, at just barely holding back on destroying the entire world makes me want to shimmy because YUM, DAVID.
10. The narrator captures Azriel's voice so well that every time he 'talks' I lose my sh*t just a little bit. I love Azriel so damn much. This might've somehow turned into a Tamlin defense squad review, but in this house we stan Azriel more than anyone else in the world. I love this sad boy so much and I want to learn so much more about him. Please lord, I lowkey don't want him to find a mate, just someone who'll love him without the 'fated bond' thing. I want him to fall in love naturally and to find happiness without whomever is good for him, not made for him, yah know. I don't want him to have to push for a relationship with someone because that person is their mate. No.
(No brain, what the f#ck is wrong with you, you cannot ship those two sad boys together. Tamlin still needs to sit alone and just work through all his problems becuase he has many, many of those)
11. Trauma doesn't allow a person to be an asshole, but I can easily understand why someone would choose that over letting their emotions come to the forefront. Which is why I can mostly forgive Nesta for her actions. She's hurt, her life was ripped from her, she watched her mother die, her father got tortured before her eyes, and instead of letting herself emote she locked up. From the whisperings I hear she's been through it and kept it all to herself instead of letting herself get help, so I understand where she is emotionally. But, however, actually, she still hurt her sister, still emotionally abused her, belittling her despite all the work she did to make sure they didn't starve to death. It's.... I don't know.
I guess it hurts me so much becuase I don't know what I'd do if my siblings were like that to me. We're so tight-knit, me and my siblings, that the thought of any one of us treating the others the way Nesta treats Feyre just irks me the wrong way. And to make it worse, Nesta had a clear favourite, and like imagine risking your life everyday to make sure your family doesn't starve and then coming home to watching the people you're helping care over each other and not you.
Nope, can't be me.
So that's why I find it hard to fully be in Nesta's corner, to Stan her as much as I want to—because she is a bad bitch even as a human. I know my best friend loves her, and from what she's told me Nesta's story is expanded on and we start to see more of her as a person. However, it still chaffs that she chose to protect one sister and belittle the other, because maybe she thought the other could look after herself. But lol, that's not how it works. And Feyre's the youngest, so that just makes it worse for me.
But I'm open to forgiving her, open to letting her grow, open to understanding her, understanding why she thought being awful to Feyre was a good way to I don't know what. If I can find reasons for Tamlin to be redeemed then I sure as hell can see all the reasons why Nesta can be redeemed (because again this is a book and these aren't real life people and there is still space for them to get their redemption arcs. If this were real life and they were real people, lol to them because I was going to be weary as hell of them for the rest of my life