A review by cassafrassandfries
The Way I Am Now by Amber Smith

challenging emotional inspiring reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

*TW: Rape, Sexual Assault, Domestic Violence* This stunning sequel to Amber Smith’s “The Way I Used To Be” was just as excellent as the first book in Eden & Josh’s story. I was once again blown away by Smith’s ability to put me in the mind of 17/18 year old girl and it not feel trite or contrived. She created, in Eden, an empathically believable protagonist. Even through her many faults, I never found myself rolling my eyes or frustrated with her actions or emotions. They all felt impeccably real, and very nuanced. Seeing Eden and Josh’s character growth throughout this sequel felt so gratifying after reading the first in this duo, and I found myself not just rooting for them as a couple, but as individuals in their own rights. And yet, Smith still stayed so brutally truthful to the many downstream effects of a sexual assault. She did a beautiful job of weaving these threads or trauma throughout the story line, and presented what I can only imagine is a relatively realistic, if not slightly idealistic, portrayal of what a survivor would experience. There were so many heartwarming moments in this: Josh’s alcoholic dad coming through for him, and for Eden; Eden finding a new community of people and a new place to be able to leave some of the weight of this behind as she processes; Eden’s mom figuring out how to navigate this for her; Eden screaming ‘no’ at Perry in the street - because she didn’t get the opportunity to scream at Kevin (as his lawyer so gently points out). So many quotes that felt incredibly raw to my younger, and my current, self. As I did when reviewing the first book in this duo, I’ll summarize by saying that this is not a ‘fun’ read by any stretch of the imagination, but engaging, powerful, and somehow still enjoyable. I HIGHLY recommend these two books, and am grateful to my niece for recommending the first, grateful to a kind coworker to let me borrow her copy of the sequel, and grateful to my sister Katie for letting her daughter read things like this - stories that will hopefully keep her safe and give her the power to help herself and others. 
Expand filter menu Content Warnings