A review by alexirt
It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn

Did not finish book. Stopped at 30%.
I got 30% into this book. In the first four chapters there were some interesting concepts about nature vs nurture and epigenetics. I think some ideas were stretched too far.
  Example: after finding out about grandma’s survivors guilt one girl was no longer suicidal because she realized those were not her own feelings.
Then in chapter 5 he got way too “your parents are your life force and you won’t have mental illness anymore if you pretend and feel what caused them trauma.” I looked at a couple other reviews and they said the rest of the book minimizes the responsibility of abusers in favor of “reconnecting.” Very victim-blaming vibes. Maybe if there were more qualifiers, like discussing your grandmothers survivors guilt with her might clue you into your own feelings but it is not acceptable for adults to take out their unresolved trauma on their children. However, that was not what I read in what I got through.  There were too many broad sweeps where those who experience abuse at the hand of a parent should forgive and forget and suddenly will be “cured” of bad feelings. 
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