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A review by perilous1
This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers by K.J. Ramsey
3.0
"Suffering brings us to the threshold of who we are becoming."
I originally heard this author on a therapy podcast, and appreciated both the way she put words together and her candor over her chronic illness. When I found out about her book, I was excited for what I felt was a much-needed perspective on a subject that's often skirted. After reading all the sample pages, I did something I've never done before... I preordered the book for myself and several of my chronically ill friends.
This is subject material I don't see discussed enough. Not only within church (which is the author's primary focus), but in the broader culture. Chronic pain makes indirectly-affected people feel uncomfortable and helpless. And learning to sit with those you care for in the ashes of their pain/loss/grief is an art and social skill--and sacrifice of empathy--that simply isn't taught. My dearest hope was that this work would be a tool of awareness for those who wish to be a supportive fixture in the lives of those for whom suffering is continuous... and that it might be a touchstone of understanding and contemplation for those who are afflicted.
"Courage empowers us to listen where we normally would defend, to witness pain instead of judging it, to acknowledge failure as room to grow, and to sit with discomfort like it's a dawn, not a death."
Just as advertised, this is not a story with a "happy ending". It's the scattered pieces of an account written in the active midst of suffering, with no natural end in sight. It is acknowledging anguish whilst grasping at hope. And it is written with Ramsey's deeply pensive and unusually lilting style. Her voice is strong, warmly gentle, and well developed--offering an abundance of quotable lines and noteworthy compositions. (Although, the prose occasionally waxes a bit purple.)
The book turned out to be a lot more theological in focus than I'd expected. There is a running thread of the author's personal story on how her autoimmune disease struck at her life and has progressed to a crippling state. But those portions, while vivid and engaging, also seem to be more of a fleeting jumping-off point for tangential essays on faith and neuroscience. Just as we get to better know a vulnerable bit about the author, we're pulled out of the memoir and into a sort of introspective pseudo-seminary. And as much as I generally enjoy the way she puts words together, I had to fight the temptation to skim until I finally came to another part of her personal story.
The result of the alternating structure is a kind of drive-and-drift effect on the pacing. Right about page 80-85, I started finding it harder to pick the book back up. Which I would have thought just a fluke... Except that this is around the same point where several of my chronically ill friends also seemed to get stuck and feel distanced from the writing.
I would still recommend this book to anyone attempting to better love and relate to those who are coping with a wide range of "invisible illnesses"... And I hope its very existence will spark discussion and spur more readily available material on the topic. If the author one day decides to compile a more complete memoir, I would be very much interested in reading it.
I just had trouble connecting with this one in its entirety.
Favorite Quotes:
*"We who are weak remind the entire church that salvation comes only through God and not through our self-sufficient striving."
*"We strain to experience God as with us and for us in our suffering because love is not simply a cognitive truth to assent to but a relationship to be reshaped by."
*"Often the pain that makes us feel most stuck is not our suffering; it is experiencing distress in the presence of people who expect us to get better faster than we can."
(If that last one doesn't sum up the worst element of chronic illness, I don't know what does.)
I originally heard this author on a therapy podcast, and appreciated both the way she put words together and her candor over her chronic illness. When I found out about her book, I was excited for what I felt was a much-needed perspective on a subject that's often skirted. After reading all the sample pages, I did something I've never done before... I preordered the book for myself and several of my chronically ill friends.
This is subject material I don't see discussed enough. Not only within church (which is the author's primary focus), but in the broader culture. Chronic pain makes indirectly-affected people feel uncomfortable and helpless. And learning to sit with those you care for in the ashes of their pain/loss/grief is an art and social skill--and sacrifice of empathy--that simply isn't taught. My dearest hope was that this work would be a tool of awareness for those who wish to be a supportive fixture in the lives of those for whom suffering is continuous... and that it might be a touchstone of understanding and contemplation for those who are afflicted.
"Courage empowers us to listen where we normally would defend, to witness pain instead of judging it, to acknowledge failure as room to grow, and to sit with discomfort like it's a dawn, not a death."
Just as advertised, this is not a story with a "happy ending". It's the scattered pieces of an account written in the active midst of suffering, with no natural end in sight. It is acknowledging anguish whilst grasping at hope. And it is written with Ramsey's deeply pensive and unusually lilting style. Her voice is strong, warmly gentle, and well developed--offering an abundance of quotable lines and noteworthy compositions. (Although, the prose occasionally waxes a bit purple.)
The book turned out to be a lot more theological in focus than I'd expected. There is a running thread of the author's personal story on how her autoimmune disease struck at her life and has progressed to a crippling state. But those portions, while vivid and engaging, also seem to be more of a fleeting jumping-off point for tangential essays on faith and neuroscience. Just as we get to better know a vulnerable bit about the author, we're pulled out of the memoir and into a sort of introspective pseudo-seminary. And as much as I generally enjoy the way she puts words together, I had to fight the temptation to skim until I finally came to another part of her personal story.
The result of the alternating structure is a kind of drive-and-drift effect on the pacing. Right about page 80-85, I started finding it harder to pick the book back up. Which I would have thought just a fluke... Except that this is around the same point where several of my chronically ill friends also seemed to get stuck and feel distanced from the writing.
I would still recommend this book to anyone attempting to better love and relate to those who are coping with a wide range of "invisible illnesses"... And I hope its very existence will spark discussion and spur more readily available material on the topic. If the author one day decides to compile a more complete memoir, I would be very much interested in reading it.
I just had trouble connecting with this one in its entirety.
Favorite Quotes:
*"We who are weak remind the entire church that salvation comes only through God and not through our self-sufficient striving."
*"We strain to experience God as with us and for us in our suffering because love is not simply a cognitive truth to assent to but a relationship to be reshaped by."
*"Often the pain that makes us feel most stuck is not our suffering; it is experiencing distress in the presence of people who expect us to get better faster than we can."
(If that last one doesn't sum up the worst element of chronic illness, I don't know what does.)