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jennilynft 's review for:
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
by Amy Chua
It is very difficult to like the author of this book, and at times it seems as if she is going out of her way to make herself seem unlikable. That being said, the stories were interesting, at times appalling, but always kept you waiting to find out how the story ends (ie, the result of the relationship that Chua has to her daughters).
Having grown up with a father that outdid Chua in many of his outrageous parenting techniques, I have to admit that I agree with the concept of her parenting method to an extent. The idea of expecting something from your children, in both behavior and academic/intellectual performance is not as ghastly as some portray it to be. Having taught high school students, I believe that kids, for the most part, will live up to the expectations that are set out for them, but almost never do more than they are required to do if given the choice. Chua simply believes in her children and expects them to perform to the best of their ability. Where I disagree however, is in the idea that excellence must come at the cost of everything else. I believe that she could have struck a better balance between what she wished for her daughters to accomplish and some of the simple pleasures of childhood.
One of my favorite quotes in the books is Chua's answer to the oft repeated question "are you doing this for yourself or your children?" The implication, of course, is that she makes the kids do things they don't want to do for the sake of her own selfish desires for them. To this, Chua puts the same question to Western parents. Do you not require anything of your children simply because you don't want to put yourself through the uncomfortable process of actually parenting? It seems to me that Chua's observation that, in a lot of ways, the "hands-off" approach to parenting is more often a result of parents that don't want to put in the time of "forcing" their kids to do something, even if it would result in a child that becomes extremely gifted in a certain _________ (instrument, subject, sport, etc).
Having grown up with a father that outdid Chua in many of his outrageous parenting techniques, I have to admit that I agree with the concept of her parenting method to an extent. The idea of expecting something from your children, in both behavior and academic/intellectual performance is not as ghastly as some portray it to be. Having taught high school students, I believe that kids, for the most part, will live up to the expectations that are set out for them, but almost never do more than they are required to do if given the choice. Chua simply believes in her children and expects them to perform to the best of their ability. Where I disagree however, is in the idea that excellence must come at the cost of everything else. I believe that she could have struck a better balance between what she wished for her daughters to accomplish and some of the simple pleasures of childhood.
One of my favorite quotes in the books is Chua's answer to the oft repeated question "are you doing this for yourself or your children?" The implication, of course, is that she makes the kids do things they don't want to do for the sake of her own selfish desires for them. To this, Chua puts the same question to Western parents. Do you not require anything of your children simply because you don't want to put yourself through the uncomfortable process of actually parenting? It seems to me that Chua's observation that, in a lot of ways, the "hands-off" approach to parenting is more often a result of parents that don't want to put in the time of "forcing" their kids to do something, even if it would result in a child that becomes extremely gifted in a certain _________ (instrument, subject, sport, etc).