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A review by dembury
I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Se-hee
3.0
There were definitely some little nuggets of interesting information in Baek Se Hee's work here, and a handful things I highlighted to revisit later. Some bits were just nice reminders, like this quote where Baek reminds herself, "I am someone who is completely unique in this world, someone I need to take care of for the rest of my life, and therefore someone I need to help take each step forwards, warmly and patiently, to allow to rest on some days and encourage on others".
I admire her for sharing her (sometimes dark and struggling) thoughts with readers; it's no easy thing to expose therapy session discussions and the ways one might be hurting, so I am appreciative for her giving this to readers.
However, aside from those little nuggets, this work became increasingly either difficult to read or just flat-out put me off of it at times. The formatting is erratic, especially near the end: the book begins as just chunks of back-and-forth dialogue between Baek and her therapist, and many pieces of their conversations seem very unnatural or sanitized. There is a stilted feel to the way their dialogue reads that makes it feel like a draft or as if large pieces are missing. Then near the end of the book there are dozens of little 1-3 page chapters of seemingly random thoughts/reflections from Baek that read like scribbles on a napkin that were never meant to be published.
But perhaps the most off-putting thing about this work as a whole is the therapist. They seem so vastly underqualified for their job, and I was shocked at some of the "advice" being given. At one point, Baek expresses a concern that she may be drinking too much and wants to stop, and the therapist simply says "Stop going out with friends who drink" and "Just tell yourself, 'I won't drink so much next time' and let it go" and "Learn to blame the alcohol a bit".
In another moment, Baek is talking about her anxiety in regards to forming relationships, and her therapist straight-up tells to to try and stop thinking about the future so much because "Your anxiety can become a burden to others." So much of what was being said by the therapist just seems like empty sentiments or downright harmful advice.
There are also a few instances of fatphobic comments/sentiments that were weird to encounter, and, again, the therapist had very odd reactions to them that didn't sit well with me.
I guess Baek benefitted from these sessions, and I don't want to be too harsh about someone's personal mental health journey, but I will say I can't see myself heartily recommending "I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki" to someone, especially if they are currently experiencing depression or struggling. I think this would be best in the hands of someone who is an okay headspace and can put some separation between themselves and the sometimes questionable content.
I admire her for sharing her (sometimes dark and struggling) thoughts with readers; it's no easy thing to expose therapy session discussions and the ways one might be hurting, so I am appreciative for her giving this to readers.
However, aside from those little nuggets, this work became increasingly either difficult to read or just flat-out put me off of it at times. The formatting is erratic, especially near the end: the book begins as just chunks of back-and-forth dialogue between Baek and her therapist, and many pieces of their conversations seem very unnatural or sanitized. There is a stilted feel to the way their dialogue reads that makes it feel like a draft or as if large pieces are missing. Then near the end of the book there are dozens of little 1-3 page chapters of seemingly random thoughts/reflections from Baek that read like scribbles on a napkin that were never meant to be published.
But perhaps the most off-putting thing about this work as a whole is the therapist. They seem so vastly underqualified for their job, and I was shocked at some of the "advice" being given. At one point, Baek expresses a concern that she may be drinking too much and wants to stop, and the therapist simply says "Stop going out with friends who drink" and "Just tell yourself, 'I won't drink so much next time' and let it go" and "Learn to blame the alcohol a bit".
In another moment, Baek is talking about her anxiety in regards to forming relationships, and her therapist straight-up tells to to try and stop thinking about the future so much because "Your anxiety can become a burden to others." So much of what was being said by the therapist just seems like empty sentiments or downright harmful advice.
There are also a few instances of fatphobic comments/sentiments that were weird to encounter, and, again, the therapist had very odd reactions to them that didn't sit well with me.
I guess Baek benefitted from these sessions, and I don't want to be too harsh about someone's personal mental health journey, but I will say I can't see myself heartily recommending "I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki" to someone, especially if they are currently experiencing depression or struggling. I think this would be best in the hands of someone who is an okay headspace and can put some separation between themselves and the sometimes questionable content.