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A review by shirleonelsie
Entice by Carrie Jones
3.0
Oh my. Well, I thought that the writing would get better as the series went on... it didn't. I am so disappointed! It's such an amazing idea and concept and even the plot isn't all that bad, but the writing is really so sub par.
Another list of things that I find to be very amateur-ish:
1. To. Many. Stunted. Sentences. While this is a good way to convey frustration, it's over done in the series. Not to mention, sometimes it's good to have two words in between the periods. It would just flow better.
2. I found I liked the book better during the scenes that has Astley and Zara. Their chemistry is really good and I actually hope that they end up together. (I think he treats her with more respect the Nick does.) Also, it's way to "ditzy girl" when it comes to all the girls together. Their conversations make me think that they are not all that smart at all.
3. There was one part that bothered me, a lot. When Zara meets Astley's mother, Zara describes her as Glinda the Good Witch in Wizard of Oz. And Wicked. And whatever else it was. Just name one! I'm sure all your readers are familiar with the Wizard of Oz and will get the reference. (Unless they're as dumb as your other characters who have no idea what "Buffy" or "Star Wars" is.)
I had read someone else's comment that it seems that Zara's character was put together by throwing darts at a board. I think I am beginning to agree with that. The phobia's and the Amnesty thing are both really intense characteristics and already I am seeing them float away by book three.
I also am a little on the Mom's side when she is saying that Zara is being really selfish about getting Nick back. I'm looking forward to how this will al play out in the fourth and final (finally!) book. Will Nick still love her? Will she realize that she probably could do all this on her own, without a man? Will se love Astley who seems to be so in love with her? I mean she used him and yet he is still there for her through everything.
Maybe the ending will wrap up well, but I am losing hope and no longer have great expectations. This book could have been way more solid with some read throughs and discussions and a little more editing.
Another list of things that I find to be very amateur-ish:
1. To. Many. Stunted. Sentences. While this is a good way to convey frustration, it's over done in the series. Not to mention, sometimes it's good to have two words in between the periods. It would just flow better.
2. I found I liked the book better during the scenes that has Astley and Zara. Their chemistry is really good and I actually hope that they end up together. (I think he treats her with more respect the Nick does.) Also, it's way to "ditzy girl" when it comes to all the girls together. Their conversations make me think that they are not all that smart at all.
3. There was one part that bothered me, a lot. When Zara meets Astley's mother, Zara describes her as Glinda the Good Witch in Wizard of Oz. And Wicked. And whatever else it was. Just name one! I'm sure all your readers are familiar with the Wizard of Oz and will get the reference. (Unless they're as dumb as your other characters who have no idea what "Buffy" or "Star Wars" is.)
I had read someone else's comment that it seems that Zara's character was put together by throwing darts at a board. I think I am beginning to agree with that. The phobia's and the Amnesty thing are both really intense characteristics and already I am seeing them float away by book three.
I also am a little on the Mom's side when she is saying that Zara is being really selfish about getting Nick back. I'm looking forward to how this will al play out in the fourth and final (finally!) book. Will Nick still love her? Will she realize that she probably could do all this on her own, without a man? Will se love Astley who seems to be so in love with her? I mean she used him and yet he is still there for her through everything.
Maybe the ending will wrap up well, but I am losing hope and no longer have great expectations. This book could have been way more solid with some read throughs and discussions and a little more editing.