A review by bethsimone_
Solitaire by Alice Oseman

challenging emotional hopeful inspiring lighthearted mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

"I don't know what's going to happen to us. I don't know how long I'm going to be like this.
All I know is that I'm here. And I'm alive. And I'm not alone."

I haven't felt truly represented by a character until Tori. Her apathetic personality and the sensitive handling of her mental health is extremely well done.

You can physically feel Tori shine brighter when Michael is near, they have a beautiful relationship in which they are two halves making each other whole.
The dialogue between them on the roof made me tear up, mostly because Tori's feelings were extremely familiar to me (and anyone else that has experienced suicidal ideation) but largely because I was holding my breath, feeling Michael panicking trying to get Tori to understand she needs to be here, she is important, to get her away from the edge no matter what. It's heartbreaking, because Tori truly doesn't understand what other people see when they look at her.

"You need to be here," he says.

I especially love the fact that Oseman doesn't 'fix' Tori or write a 'happy ending' that ties things into a neat bow. Mental illness is not something that can be fixed, and recovery in not a linear path, it'll likely shape your whole life.

What Solitaire does, is deliver not exactly an anti-suicide message, but hope. Hope that you can find the joy in life again, doing pointless things just to pass the time, laughing at nothing; being alive.
Throughout the book, Tori slowly 'defrosts' from her apathetic, numb state, not exactly melting by the end but opening up enough to allow herself to feel, and continue to grow. She isn't exactly changed, but she acknowledges that, and finally sees she isn't alone, she has people that love her for who she is, and they'll still be there when she doesn't.
Oseman writes friendship and chosen family in a really beautiful way, and is the real love story underpinning Solitaire.
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