ever_laurel 's review for:

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern

3.75

hopeful informative reflective slow-paced

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This book provides a very thorough introduction to attachment theory, showing very well which different aspects and experiences can influence how we are able to form attachments with others. The many self-help questions can probably be a good starting point for people who wish to develop a closer connection with some partner or attachment figure in their life. Within all this, however, there was surprisingly little discussion of poly-specific topics, which I felt a little disappointed by. This is more of a "How to have any relationship at all". To be fair, there was a section giving a nice brief overview over different styles of non-monogamy. There were also definitely some points in the self-help focused parts that were useful to me and my mental health in general, regardless of any relationships and relationship styles I might currently find myself in; and some sensible points about the disparity between what society views as markers of secure attachment (monogamous structure enforced social expectations and even legally binding contracts) and what on an emotional level actually are relevant markers. But then there were also quite a few rather esoterical moments in the book that I didn't vibe with, as well as somewhat frequent moments of citing psychological pseudoscience...

So, do I recommend this book? Meh...idk. Maybe if all other books on polyamory turn out to be worse :D