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A review by reeyabeegale
My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
I heard a lot of people talk about this book, how deep and haunting it was. Though I have my inhibitions, I still read it.
In all honesty, my skin was crawling reading about how Strane lured Vanessa, groomed her into becoming his victim even after all those years. I found myself having to take breaks in between chapters to shake it off, until all I could think about was to finish it already so I wouldn’t have to endure and sit through what Vanessa experienced.
It’s not that I don’t like the book, I just realized how scared I am to read books like these — where victims romanticize the abuse they went through, AND NO I AM NOT VICTIM SHAMING nor am I encouraging any kind of abuse, I’m just saying that I can’t stomach reading about a victim who doesn’t see herself/himself as that. It haunts and worries me that there are people out there who are as lost as Vanessa, who have to live and endure the injustices of this world.
I’ve read a lot of stories similar to this, women being abused and being attacked instead of receiving support but I’ve always read it through the eyes of a survivor who has a full grasp of what happened/what he or she experienced in the hands of their abusers. It might be seen as a weakness on my end, but I just can’t do it — I can’t read anymore of Vanessa Wyes and Dolores Hazes. I don’t want anyone else going through any of that, being taken advantage of. I can’t read about their struggle to grasp the reality of their experience, I’d rather much read stories about surviving, the aftermath of speaking up and moving forward — again that feels like a cop out, but yeah. I appreciate these kinds of stories, I think they are important and in the future I might still read these kinds of books but for now I don’t have the courage to do so because my heart breaks too much.
I’m not rating the book because I don’t know how. I am so appalled by Jacob Strane; I pity Vanessa, wishing I could shake her out of the trance Strane’s put her in through her years of abuse. I don’t want to rate the book because I feel that in some way, that would justify Strane’s actions, giving a wrong impression that I am encouraging it; or downplay what Vanessa went through. My mind is out of sorts and I’d probably not have the motivation to go back here and change my review/rating when I have coherent thoughts, so I apologize if this review wasn’t helpful at all.
The writing is good, I’d say it was dragged out longer than I would’ve liked but the plot overall sends a very important message to parents, friends, teachers — people in general. It’s one I’ll never forget.
In all honesty, my skin was crawling reading about how Strane lured Vanessa, groomed her into becoming his victim even after all those years. I found myself having to take breaks in between chapters to shake it off, until all I could think about was to finish it already so I wouldn’t have to endure and sit through what Vanessa experienced.
It’s not that I don’t like the book, I just realized how scared I am to read books like these — where victims romanticize the abuse they went through, AND NO I AM NOT VICTIM SHAMING nor am I encouraging any kind of abuse, I’m just saying that I can’t stomach reading about a victim who doesn’t see herself/himself as that. It haunts and worries me that there are people out there who are as lost as Vanessa, who have to live and endure the injustices of this world.
I’ve read a lot of stories similar to this, women being abused and being attacked instead of receiving support but I’ve always read it through the eyes of a survivor who has a full grasp of what happened/what he or she experienced in the hands of their abusers. It might be seen as a weakness on my end, but I just can’t do it — I can’t read anymore of Vanessa Wyes and Dolores Hazes. I don’t want anyone else going through any of that, being taken advantage of. I can’t read about their struggle to grasp the reality of their experience, I’d rather much read stories about surviving, the aftermath of speaking up and moving forward — again that feels like a cop out, but yeah. I appreciate these kinds of stories, I think they are important and in the future I might still read these kinds of books but for now I don’t have the courage to do so because my heart breaks too much.
I’m not rating the book because I don’t know how. I am so appalled by Jacob Strane; I pity Vanessa, wishing I could shake her out of the trance Strane’s put her in through her years of abuse. I don’t want to rate the book because I feel that in some way, that would justify Strane’s actions, giving a wrong impression that I am encouraging it; or downplay what Vanessa went through. My mind is out of sorts and I’d probably not have the motivation to go back here and change my review/rating when I have coherent thoughts, so I apologize if this review wasn’t helpful at all.
The writing is good, I’d say it was dragged out longer than I would’ve liked but the plot overall sends a very important message to parents, friends, teachers — people in general. It’s one I’ll never forget.