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A review by sarah42783
Linesman by S.K. Dunstall
4.0
Actual rating: 3.75 stars. And a half.
Yet another wondrous MacHalo Buddy Read! Well, I'm, um, you know, assuming it was wondrous and stuff. Back when it happened and stuff. Because I'm, um, you know, a little late for it and stuff. Not much though. Just, um, you know, a couple of years and stuff. Pretty insignificant when you're nefariously immortal like me, really.
But anyway. This Linesman business. Let's get the negative stuff over with right away, shall we? The book is sloooooooow paced. Well it is at first. It's kind of a wonder I didn't DNF, actually. Okay, so I did temporarily DNF it the first time I gave it a try (you know, back in the days when you were all toddlers, in 2016). But I am strong and resilient and reasonable now, meaning I no longer give up on books because I'm slightly bored. No I don't. Certainly not. Okay, where were we? Oh yes, the pace of the book is as hypersonic as a burned out, sleep-deprived barnacle. BUT. There is something about the story that makes it worth slightly nodding off for the first half of the book. What "something," you ask? Wait and see, Young Padawan, wait and see. The big, fascinating reveal shall come in due time.
Okay, let's not get too over excited here, my Tiny Decapods. The big, fascinating reveal in question isn't that earth shattering either. But hey, I appreciate the enthusiasm and stuff.
Another thing that's kinda sorta off putting at first is the main character. It's not that he is repulsively unlikable and stuff, it's just that he kinda sorta comes across as a little whimpish at first. Ugh and stuff. Also, he is kinda sorta hard to warm up to. Nothing as terrible as the much dreaded Unemotional and Flat as a Herd of Ironing Boards (UaFaaHoIB™) type of character, thank fish, but still a bit, you know, well, not easy to warm up to and stuff. Besides, he turns out to be quite the quaint, endearing little guy because reasons to be undisclosed later you're welcome, so all is good and yay.
That's it! No more negative stuff to talk about! Both pretty impressive and fairly painless, huh? Please allow me to pat my little self on the exoskeleton for a minute to celebrate this momentous event. Thank thee kindly.
Like the interlude? Good. I'm glad.
Okay, nerve-racking suspense time is up, time for the big, fascinating reveal. (I'm getting really soft in my old age, I should have dragged this on for hours, maybe also made you beg for it and stuff. Sigh. I've become disgustingly kind, if you ask me.) Please hold on to your pincers, you might never recover from this one. Ready? Get this: the story is refreshingly original. I kid you not. I know this is a lot to take in, but please don't faint. Okay, so I don't read much SF, but I'm pretty sure this line thing is a pretty novel idea. I'd tell you what it's all about, but I'm feeling lazy as fish, so please go and read someone else's review to know more about it. You're welcome. Oh bloody fish, I seem to be in a most lenient mood today, so I'll be super friendly and kind and stuff and tell you this: the "lines" are a sort of Sentient Alien Technology Thingie (SATT™) that make space travel possible. Every spacecraft has a set of lines and stuff. The puny humans in this world don't really know how or why they work, but hey, work they do so who gives a shrimp as to the how or why, really?
And that's where Ean, our Difficult to Warm Up To Yet Quaint and Eadearing Main Character (DtWUTYQaEMC™) comes in. He is a high-ranking Linesman. His job is to, you know, service the lines and stuff. Meaning he fixes the lines and keeps them "in tune" mentally. That would be all fine and dandy and super cool and stuff, only Ean is kinda sorta the autistic genius kind and pretty much everyone thinks he is a freak. He sings to the lines to fix them, you see. And that is just not done in his, um, line of work (I'm hilarious, I know) and stuff. Also, he takes showers, LOTS of showers. Which, you have to admit, is REALLY weird. I mean, taking a shower once a year is strange enough, but taking as many as this guy does here? That can't be a sign of good mental health, if you ask me.
See? Even Toasty the Cat finds Ean's shower obsession repulsive. That's saying something right there.
Anyway, I have to say Ean is a pretty cool character despite his disgusting sanitation habits. He is delightfully quirky and pretty sharp and not nearly as fruitcakey as some people will have you think and he is pretty complex too and I like him so there.
Add to that a Most Glorious Cast of Ass-Kicking Take No Bullshit Secondary Female Characters (MGCoAKTnBSFC™), an exquisite bunch of duplicitous bastards and assholes (both of the male and female variety, thank you very much), tons of deliciously cunning political machinations, and you get your shrimpy little self a bloody shrimping enjoyable read and stuff.
» And the moral of this I Might Have Waited Two Bloody Fishing Years to Not DNF this Book but Wait that Long to Read Book Two I Shall Not Because I am Now Ancient and Wise and Tenacious and Stuff Crappy Non Review (IMHWTBFYtNDNFtBbWtLtRBTISNBIaNAaWaTaSCNR™) is: this book. It is not entirely crappy. HA.
· Book 2: Alliance ★★★★★
· Book 3: Confluence ★★★★★
[ Pre-review nonsense]
Linesman Crash Course (LCC™): lines = singing = insanity = then again maybe not = heart attacks = more lines = pew pew pew =
Don't ask.
➽ Full Hey I'm Only Two Years Late for this BR Go Me and Stuff Crappy Non Review (HIOTYLftBRGMaSCNR™) to come.
Yet another wondrous MacHalo Buddy Read! Well, I'm, um, you know, assuming it was wondrous and stuff. Back when it happened and stuff. Because I'm, um, you know, a little late for it and stuff. Not much though. Just, um, you know, a couple of years and stuff. Pretty insignificant when you're nefariously immortal like me, really.
But anyway. This Linesman business. Let's get the negative stuff over with right away, shall we? The book is sloooooooow paced. Well it is at first. It's kind of a wonder I didn't DNF, actually. Okay, so I did temporarily DNF it the first time I gave it a try (you know, back in the days when you were all toddlers, in 2016). But I am strong and resilient and reasonable now, meaning I no longer give up on books because I'm slightly bored. No I don't. Certainly not. Okay, where were we? Oh yes, the pace of the book is as hypersonic as a burned out, sleep-deprived barnacle. BUT. There is something about the story that makes it worth slightly nodding off for the first half of the book. What "something," you ask? Wait and see, Young Padawan, wait and see. The big, fascinating reveal shall come in due time.
Okay, let's not get too over excited here, my Tiny Decapods. The big, fascinating reveal in question isn't that earth shattering either. But hey, I appreciate the enthusiasm and stuff.
Another thing that's kinda sorta off putting at first is the main character. It's not that he is repulsively unlikable and stuff, it's just that he kinda sorta comes across as a little whimpish at first. Ugh and stuff. Also, he is kinda sorta hard to warm up to. Nothing as terrible as the much dreaded Unemotional and Flat as a Herd of Ironing Boards (UaFaaHoIB™) type of character, thank fish, but still a bit, you know, well, not easy to warm up to and stuff. Besides, he turns out to be quite the quaint, endearing little guy because reasons to be undisclosed later you're welcome, so all is good and yay.
That's it! No more negative stuff to talk about! Both pretty impressive and fairly painless, huh? Please allow me to pat my little self on the exoskeleton for a minute to celebrate this momentous event. Thank thee kindly.
Like the interlude? Good. I'm glad.
Okay, nerve-racking suspense time is up, time for the big, fascinating reveal. (I'm getting really soft in my old age, I should have dragged this on for hours, maybe also made you beg for it and stuff. Sigh. I've become disgustingly kind, if you ask me.) Please hold on to your pincers, you might never recover from this one. Ready? Get this: the story is refreshingly original. I kid you not. I know this is a lot to take in, but please don't faint. Okay, so I don't read much SF, but I'm pretty sure this line thing is a pretty novel idea. I'd tell you what it's all about, but I'm feeling lazy as fish, so please go and read someone else's review to know more about it. You're welcome. Oh bloody fish, I seem to be in a most lenient mood today, so I'll be super friendly and kind and stuff and tell you this: the "lines" are a sort of Sentient Alien Technology Thingie (SATT™) that make space travel possible. Every spacecraft has a set of lines and stuff. The puny humans in this world don't really know how or why they work, but hey, work they do so who gives a shrimp as to the how or why, really?
And that's where Ean, our Difficult to Warm Up To Yet Quaint and Eadearing Main Character (DtWUTYQaEMC™) comes in. He is a high-ranking Linesman. His job is to, you know, service the lines and stuff. Meaning he fixes the lines and keeps them "in tune" mentally. That would be all fine and dandy and super cool and stuff, only Ean is kinda sorta the autistic genius kind and pretty much everyone thinks he is a freak. He sings to the lines to fix them, you see. And that is just not done in his, um, line of work (I'm hilarious, I know) and stuff. Also, he takes showers, LOTS of showers. Which, you have to admit, is REALLY weird. I mean, taking a shower once a year is strange enough, but taking as many as this guy does here? That can't be a sign of good mental health, if you ask me.
See? Even Toasty the Cat finds Ean's shower obsession repulsive. That's saying something right there.
Anyway, I have to say Ean is a pretty cool character despite his disgusting sanitation habits. He is delightfully quirky and pretty sharp and not nearly as fruitcakey as some people will have you think and he is pretty complex too and I like him so there.
Add to that a Most Glorious Cast of Ass-Kicking Take No Bullshit Secondary Female Characters (MGCoAKTnBSFC™), an exquisite bunch of duplicitous bastards and assholes (both of the male and female variety, thank you very much), tons of deliciously cunning political machinations, and you get your shrimpy little self a bloody shrimping enjoyable read and stuff.
» And the moral of this I Might Have Waited Two Bloody Fishing Years to Not DNF this Book but Wait that Long to Read Book Two I Shall Not Because I am Now Ancient and Wise and Tenacious and Stuff Crappy Non Review (IMHWTBFYtNDNFtBbWtLtRBTISNBIaNAaWaTaSCNR™) is: this book. It is not entirely crappy. HA.
· Book 2: Alliance ★★★★★
· Book 3: Confluence ★★★★★
[ Pre-review nonsense]
Linesman Crash Course (LCC™): lines = singing = insanity = then again maybe not = heart attacks = more lines = pew pew pew =
Don't ask.
➽ Full Hey I'm Only Two Years Late for this BR Go Me and Stuff Crappy Non Review (HIOTYLftBRGMaSCNR™) to come.