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A review by jazzofmine
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie
dark
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
tense
medium-paced
4.5
I am so glad I read (listened) - great first for the year. I listened to this in a week on daily commutes to/from work and stayed very engaged, and was actually quite looking forward to my commutes in order to continue to listen.
I had read a few kind of negative, or at least critical, reviews prior. However I was recommended to read this by my counselor and again I’m very glad I listened. I found myself even rewinding to catch particular phrases a second time. And as I continued listening I realized I wanted to order a physical copy as well in order to annotate and get a second read in. My opinion is that those who have reviewed this critically probably either a) are in denial (if in fact they could benefit from the contents of the book) or b) are not the appropriate audience.
For loved ones of an alcoholic or chemically addicted person, this may be very relatable. But as Melody writes - she tries to engage with folks from a variety of different situations who have come to discover that they’re codependently involved with an addict or unwell person (be it alcoholism, chemical dependence, sex addiction or a variety of situations that could lead to codependency).
I’m a family member of an alcoholic and I would say that as she offered lists of traits, issues, situations, anecdotal stories I found myself saying “yes, yes!” And felt like at least about 75% of the content resonated with my experiences, and was helpful for me.
I only removed half a star because parts of the content weren’t for me with regards to mentions of god. However, I would still recommend this, because she only mentions god or a “higher power” in the second half of the book, in relation to 12 step programs such as AA. And I can appreciate that the structure of some programs she references involve this, and it doesn’t ruffle me (as a nonbeliever). Much of the book was still widely applicable.
I had read a few kind of negative, or at least critical, reviews prior. However I was recommended to read this by my counselor and again I’m very glad I listened. I found myself even rewinding to catch particular phrases a second time. And as I continued listening I realized I wanted to order a physical copy as well in order to annotate and get a second read in. My opinion is that those who have reviewed this critically probably either a) are in denial (if in fact they could benefit from the contents of the book) or b) are not the appropriate audience.
For loved ones of an alcoholic or chemically addicted person, this may be very relatable. But as Melody writes - she tries to engage with folks from a variety of different situations who have come to discover that they’re codependently involved with an addict or unwell person (be it alcoholism, chemical dependence, sex addiction or a variety of situations that could lead to codependency).
I’m a family member of an alcoholic and I would say that as she offered lists of traits, issues, situations, anecdotal stories I found myself saying “yes, yes!” And felt like at least about 75% of the content resonated with my experiences, and was helpful for me.
I only removed half a star because parts of the content weren’t for me with regards to mentions of god. However, I would still recommend this, because she only mentions god or a “higher power” in the second half of the book, in relation to 12 step programs such as AA. And I can appreciate that the structure of some programs she references involve this, and it doesn’t ruffle me (as a nonbeliever). Much of the book was still widely applicable.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Emotional abuse, Alcoholism, Toxic relationship, and Drug abuse