A review by jacks_beloved
A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

dark emotional sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

This book was a long, long journey (1st April- 18th May, 2022), the degrees of pain it made me experience was incomparable, but in the end, it was worth it. I can clearly see why 'A Little Life' is called a modern classic because goddamnit. In the beginning, it seemed to drag on forever, the writing was absolutely meh, the only notable aspects were the characters of Jude and Willem, but Hanya Yanagihara took the inital ordinariness and created something so incredibly extraordinary in the latter half. (*SPOILER-  Their romance sent butterflies flying through my stomach and Willem's death shattered my heart to the extent that it can never be whole again. The worst part about that was the details, like I genuinely did NOT want to learn how the only thing that made me believe in humanity was crushed from existence. I had to read the part following that at midnight, when I'm practically completely numb otherwise, but I cried twice then too. Now, it's a constant thorn in my side. I'll be going about my day and the sheer reality of Jude and Willem's story comes to mind and it kills me a little every time. I don't know how Jude survived those three years because I wanted to follow after Willem. *) 
This book became a sort of unconventional home for me, naturally, since I spent so long with it. The familiarity of Jude and Willem became my comfort and I can't understand how I'm expected to live normally henceforth. I connect with them on a level it's impossible for even me to comprehend. They are integrated into my very soul. I would sacrifice myself to save them. 
I don't think I'll ever, in my life, pick up this book again because it'll break everything in me forever. This was raw, real, memorable, too damn traumatic to be out on the loose in this world. I've said a lot and still the second-out sufferage this book handed to me is explicable. I could never recommend this to someone because I would never want anyone to go through what I did, but it was definitely a masterpiece I'll always cherish. 
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