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A review by ssuprnova
Memorial by Bryan Washington
5.0
i feel like this is the kind of book you either strongly dislike, or you really really like. it has several things that could be an immediate turn off: a strange, sort of experimental prose, a very dysfunctional relationship, a vague, open ending. but i think it paints a very vivid picture of some things that many experience, and in real life are nuanced and complicated, and then when in the media they're shown as villainous. bad. wrong. when in fact, they're really just things. people are complicated and trying to figure things out, and thats that.
dysfunctional relationship. falling in love when you didn't necessarily mean to, even a little against your own will. then falling out of love. falling into a routine. settling. falling back in love. realizing maybe you had never fallen out of love in the first place.
navigating complicated relationships with your parents. thinking you kind of hate them. navigating the death of your parents. realizing that maybe you never did hate them.
living as a gay person. living as a gay person of color. living as a gay person of color that's also overweight. living as a gay person of color that's also HIV positive. living as a gay person of color in a multicultural neighborhood thats in the process of getting gentrified.
realizing you have no clue of what in the absolute fuck you actually want.
and you know what? it does a brilliant job of it. its simultaneously really subtle and a punch to the gut, especially if you happen to identify with some of the situations the characters are in. watching them navigate their relationship i had a knot in my stomach the whole time, it felt like i was right there. and ive read reviews that said it was annoying to read, because they didnt even seem to like each other, because it didnt even look like they loved each other, and to that i say: you don't only see that someone loves someone else through them being happy together. sometimes it becomes even more clear as things seem to be coming to an end, when nothing seems to work and you're desperately clinging to whatever broken pieces haven't yet been swept. i think how much they love each other is, in fact, very present, very clearly the cause of much of the hurt. no, it isn't healthy, but thats kind of the point, isnt it?
another thing: how long, drawn out death can be. sometimes its very sudden and in those cases its almost a relief. sometimes you're grieving somone as they sit right next to you. and you want it to end, and you also dont. and it keeps going. and going. and going. and going. the author doesn't say this: you can literally tell in the way he carries the story. if you've never felt it (first of all: im so happy that you havent), you can now know just how it feels. it drags on and on and on and on. and then its over. and it also isnt. because its never really over. and the fact that washington never says this outright is what makes this story so masterfully told.
i also really liked how ample the representation is, but in a casual way. it isnt forced, jammed in there just for the sake of being. its integrated into the story how its integrated into the real world, exactly the way it should be.
its a big brain book, but its very accessible and not at all pretentious. its simple and profound and i liked it so much. hats off. my compliments to the chef.
dysfunctional relationship. falling in love when you didn't necessarily mean to, even a little against your own will. then falling out of love. falling into a routine. settling. falling back in love. realizing maybe you had never fallen out of love in the first place.
navigating complicated relationships with your parents. thinking you kind of hate them. navigating the death of your parents. realizing that maybe you never did hate them.
living as a gay person. living as a gay person of color. living as a gay person of color that's also overweight. living as a gay person of color that's also HIV positive. living as a gay person of color in a multicultural neighborhood thats in the process of getting gentrified.
realizing you have no clue of what in the absolute fuck you actually want.
and you know what? it does a brilliant job of it. its simultaneously really subtle and a punch to the gut, especially if you happen to identify with some of the situations the characters are in. watching them navigate their relationship i had a knot in my stomach the whole time, it felt like i was right there. and ive read reviews that said it was annoying to read, because they didnt even seem to like each other, because it didnt even look like they loved each other, and to that i say: you don't only see that someone loves someone else through them being happy together. sometimes it becomes even more clear as things seem to be coming to an end, when nothing seems to work and you're desperately clinging to whatever broken pieces haven't yet been swept. i think how much they love each other is, in fact, very present, very clearly the cause of much of the hurt. no, it isn't healthy, but thats kind of the point, isnt it?
another thing: how long, drawn out death can be. sometimes its very sudden and in those cases its almost a relief. sometimes you're grieving somone as they sit right next to you. and you want it to end, and you also dont. and it keeps going. and going. and going. and going. the author doesn't say this: you can literally tell in the way he carries the story. if you've never felt it (first of all: im so happy that you havent), you can now know just how it feels. it drags on and on and on and on. and then its over. and it also isnt. because its never really over. and the fact that washington never says this outright is what makes this story so masterfully told.
i also really liked how ample the representation is, but in a casual way. it isnt forced, jammed in there just for the sake of being. its integrated into the story how its integrated into the real world, exactly the way it should be.
its a big brain book, but its very accessible and not at all pretentious. its simple and profound and i liked it so much. hats off. my compliments to the chef.