A review by roach
Vergewaltigung: Aspekte eines Verbrechens by Mithu Sanyal

challenging informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

 

Not all men are potential rapists, and not all women are potential victims. Even concerning rape, gender isn't a fate. We are humans and we decide how we write and re-write the story of our life, with every disruption and leap and contradiction. Because they're our stories and they have to make sense to us.

Nicht alle Männer sind potenzielle Vergewaltiger, und nicht alle Frauen sind potenzielle Opfer. Geschlecht ist auch in Bezug auf Vergewaltigung nicht Schicksal. Wir sind Menschen und entscheiden selbst, wie wir die Geschichte unseres Lebens schreiben und umschreiben, mit allen Brüchen und Sprüngen und Widersprüchen, denn es sind unsere Geschichten, die für uns Sinn machen müssen.

I have been hesitant to tackle Mithu M. Sanyal's award-winning book about sexualized violence, simply called Vergewaltigung (transl. Rape), for a long time now but I'm very glad I finally committed time to this. I didn't regret it either as this was easily one of the most gripping non-fiction books I've read so far and will end up being one of the best books I'll read all year.

Sanyal manages to compile an incredibly thorough and well-researched text about the titular crime. What meaning it carried throughout history and the changing society, where its overwhelming notoriety over other acts of violence comes from, and the many different ways of how we talk about and react to the subject itself.
It's safe to say that everyone of us finds rape despicable and rates it as one of the worst things a human can do to another. But we probably rarely think about the effect even the concept alone, without actual act, has done to us on a sociological level. If nothing else, I think this book should be some sort of essential reading when it comes to the subject (or problem) of gender roles and how brutally they shape us as well as the way we treat each other.

Sanyal talks about how the public treats perpetrator and victim, and how that might hinder the way people can heal or change. She talks about the way rape has been used politically to demonize marginalized groups. How and why efforts to prevent rape are still so unequal between male and female experiences. Why we give the simple word "rape" so much power in itself to a degree that makes it difficult to talk about this subject in the first place in an arguably self-sabotaging way.
She also explores how the subject of sexualized violence, in media as a whole, is almost always dissected through the women that experience it. And through that, even with the best intentions, often ends up putting a disproportionate extra burden on them, while we rarely even allow ourselves (collectively) to fill the equally important gap of the involved men. Because no one wants to talk about men in this context. Even in cases when they experience sexualized violence themselves. Which is why it's so powerful and thought-provoking when Sanyal dissects this phenomenon from so many different perspectives and contexts.

It has also challenged me in ways I didn't expect. Not, for example, in the way I, as a man, might treat or perceive women, but rather how I treat and perceive men, and through that might help perpetuate a whole different cycle that I didn't see from this perspective before.

I have immense respect for Sanyal for being able to write about such a difficult, inherently uncomfortable, and touchy subject with so much intellect and empathy but also refreshing bluntness when needed, and present it all in such a genuinely gripping read.
I highly recommend this to anyone, even if (or maybe especially if) you are afraid of how difficult this read might be. I definitely way. And yes, of course this is a heavy and serious subject. But I think Sanyal has a great talent of not overwhelming the reader and delivering the information in a rather comfortable voice.
I'll definitely be thinking about this book for a long time after having put it away.