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deadsparkles 's review for:
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
by Jane Austen, Seth Grahame-Smith
This has been on my TBR list for a few years. I love zombies, so I thought I would have a blast with this. But having read the classic, non-zombified version before and finding it nothing but dull (shoot me, if you must, but I just can’t get into any of Austen’s work, as lovely as it always turns out on the screen), I was hesitant. I knew going into it that the author only wrote/rewrote parts of it, so I think I put it off for so long thinking it would be more Austen than zombie.
Plot-wise, I was right. What finally motivated me to sit down and check this one off my list was that I watched the movie. The movie’s plot is significantly different from the classic book, so I thought Seth Grahame-Smith’s rework would be so as well. Nope. It’s a scene-by-scene rewriting, except for hordes of unmentionables, of course.
The five Bennett sisters are still found in Hertfordshire, pining for husbands. Only that’s their concern when they’re not keeping the kingdom safe from the roaming undead or practicing their Shaolin training. Then Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy show up and the rest is mostly as it was, with a few much more satisfying alterations, in my opinion. And ninjas. Don’t forget the random ninjas.
Now, even though I knew going into this there would be an overload of gore and camp (campy gore; gory camp?), I was still a little annoyed. Just…calm down, Seth. Slaughtering a gang of Satan’s soldiers is one thing, which is what I came for, eating the heart of a ninja is quite another.
But, after finishing the book and having a minute to sit and process it, I think I figured out what really bothered me about it. Elizabeth Bennett, originally, is nothing special. She’s not as pretty as her sister, she doesn’t sing or paint or draw. In both the original classic and this mashup there’s a conversation about what sort of expectations Mr. Darcy has on what makes a woman remarkable, and Elizabeth doesn’t even come close. But against all odds, Darcy falls for her anyway. I like that. I think a lot of people like that. But in this book, Elizabeth has been transformed into another interchangeable dystopian heroine. Which wasn’t really what I was after. I was hoping to see Elizabeth use her wits to get her out of zombified danger. Oh well.
And one nagging detail that really just bugged me: “exercise moisture.” I am not one of those people who are squeamish at the word “moist,” I was just really, really annoyed the author chose not to say “perspiration,” which would have been perfectly acceptable.
Anyway, I don’t want to work up a moisture about it, so I’ll move on. I like Wickham’s fate much better in the zombie version. I’m so happy to hear that Darcy beat him lame. This is what Mr. Bennett ought to have done in the original book to begin with, for having so dishonored his daughter. I also like that the main reason Charlotte chose to marry Mr. Collins was because she was going to die anyway and didn't want to do so being unwed. To me, it beats the real version where she just married him for the sake of finally being married. And then having to be married to him for the rest of her life. I was hoping she would eat his brains in the end, but, eh, oh well.
Overall though, I’d say there was a lot more that I didn’t like about this book than what I did. I feel like Elizabeth’s lack of reaction to Charlotte and Mr. Collin’s deaths were out of character for her, at least as far as for Charlotte. Even Jane, who was noted to cry over zombies as well as everything else, had no reaction about the news. So I found the whole story inconsistent here and there, which could be distracting. The innuendo and one-liners were fun, but far and few between. And even when having some premise of the story going in, I was left wanting something else entirely.
Plot-wise, I was right. What finally motivated me to sit down and check this one off my list was that I watched the movie. The movie’s plot is significantly different from the classic book, so I thought Seth Grahame-Smith’s rework would be so as well. Nope. It’s a scene-by-scene rewriting, except for hordes of unmentionables, of course.
The five Bennett sisters are still found in Hertfordshire, pining for husbands. Only that’s their concern when they’re not keeping the kingdom safe from the roaming undead or practicing their Shaolin training. Then Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy show up and the rest is mostly as it was, with a few much more satisfying alterations, in my opinion. And ninjas. Don’t forget the random ninjas.
Now, even though I knew going into this there would be an overload of gore and camp (campy gore; gory camp?), I was still a little annoyed. Just…calm down, Seth. Slaughtering a gang of Satan’s soldiers is one thing, which is what I came for, eating the heart of a ninja is quite another.
But, after finishing the book and having a minute to sit and process it, I think I figured out what really bothered me about it. Elizabeth Bennett, originally, is nothing special. She’s not as pretty as her sister, she doesn’t sing or paint or draw. In both the original classic and this mashup there’s a conversation about what sort of expectations Mr. Darcy has on what makes a woman remarkable, and Elizabeth doesn’t even come close. But against all odds, Darcy falls for her anyway. I like that. I think a lot of people like that. But in this book, Elizabeth has been transformed into another interchangeable dystopian heroine. Which wasn’t really what I was after. I was hoping to see Elizabeth use her wits to get her out of zombified danger. Oh well.
And one nagging detail that really just bugged me: “exercise moisture.” I am not one of those people who are squeamish at the word “moist,” I was just really, really annoyed the author chose not to say “perspiration,” which would have been perfectly acceptable.
Anyway, I don’t want to work up a moisture about it, so I’ll move on. I like Wickham’s fate much better in the zombie version. I’m so happy to hear that Darcy beat him lame. This is what Mr. Bennett ought to have done in the original book to begin with, for having so dishonored his daughter. I also like that the main reason Charlotte chose to marry Mr. Collins was because she was going to die anyway and didn't want to do so being unwed. To me, it beats the real version where she just married him for the sake of finally being married. And then having to be married to him for the rest of her life. I was hoping she would eat his brains in the end, but, eh, oh well.
Overall though, I’d say there was a lot more that I didn’t like about this book than what I did. I feel like Elizabeth’s lack of reaction to Charlotte and Mr. Collin’s deaths were out of character for her, at least as far as for Charlotte. Even Jane, who was noted to cry over zombies as well as everything else, had no reaction about the news. So I found the whole story inconsistent here and there, which could be distracting. The innuendo and one-liners were fun, but far and few between. And even when having some premise of the story going in, I was left wanting something else entirely.