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A review by katetay69
What the Fuck Is This by Celeste Mountjoy

5.0

I WANT TO PRINT THE ENTIRE BOOK AND STICK THEM IN ORDER ON MY WALL.

Celeste you beautiful person!! I'm obsessed.

When I wasn't laughing, I was saying YES THAT'S ME, or THAT'S SO TRUE.

I'm recovering from an injury and after going through a depression spiral which still sometimes lingers this book was timely. I'm very glad I picked it up on a whim at the book store today. There she was shining in the store with this iconic cover. I had to get it.

I can think of so many people in my life that I want to share this book with. I love that the book sits with pain and is direct with no solutions but to just endure time.

Some highlights for me were:

- The teenage invincibility delusion "Nothing bad will ever happen to me because I am special" I'm 24 and this was me before I broke my ankle and leg skateboarding. I still wanna believe I'm invincible though!!??

- "I thought I was being wild and glamorous, I was left feeling traumatised" - RELATABLE

- I loved this line and the art of a rat belly up under a light "When I bathed in the light of your loving gaze I never knew how freezing i'd get without it" - OOOF right in the feels.

- "When I wake up in the morning there's a flock of feral seagulls poking my guts like hot chips" - Me when I'm trying to sleep at the moment.

- The Grim reaper from the AIDS campaign artwork IS INCREDIBLE. I work in the Blood Borne Virus harm reduction sector of health and this just hit hard.

- The image of her riding on a can of absolut vodka as a bike PERFECTION HONESTLY

- The section on grief, about other randoms not being sad, and you wonder how everyone else isn't crying, and the guilt of laughing without your loved one being alive to laugh too, this is the truest damn thing I've read in a long time.

- "Something bad happened in this dress, it has to go in the bin" - ME, ME, 1000x ME

THERE'S MORE BUT I'LL END WITH THIS

- "try forgiveness my child, "Rack off Jesus, how do I know you're not just another old man trying to manipulate me into submission".