A review by snappcastermage
Daphne by Josh Malerman

dark sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

I wanted so so badly to like this book. The concept is excellent. How could I not be totally into a hair metal listening towering lady monster who feeds off your fear for her existence. But the concept only takes you so far and it’s clear that Malerman had a few concrete ideas and the rest is just padding. The same facts of the situation and story are repeated by the characters over and over again while occasionally dropping in a fresh piece of info you didn’t have before. These pieces can be interesting and there’s ideas in this book I found compelling but when you beat those ideas into the ground it just becomes exhausting. Then there’s the other two huge flaws with this story. The first being this man has clearly NEVER spoken to a contemporary high school senior girl because they absolutely would not talk like these characters nor would they be waxing poetic about the sounds of a typewriter reminding you of a writer hard at work. Maybe a bookish band geek girl would make that association but certainly not a star athlete on the basketball team. But whatever that can be forgiven. But there’s many instances like this which left me going “do you not have a niece or a friends daughter you could have asked for some help with this dialogue?”. The other thing that drove me absolutely insane is the term “baller”. The girls on the team all refer to themselves this way. Fine. But why can’t there be a couple “my teammates” or “players” or literally any other word/phrase choice to refer to a basketball player as? Everyone in this town young and old all refer to basketball players as “ballers”. The term “Baller(s)” had the effect on me that Daphne had on the characters in this book. The more I read the more I felt my head cave in from each repeated use of the term “baller”. All of this is to say this should have been at MOST a novella or it should have figured out something more to do or say than repeat the exact same scenarios over and over. It should have been read by at least one actual teen to punch up this dreadful dialogue. And finally Josh Malerman should  open up his novel, hit ctrl + f on this book and put in “baller”, look at home many times it’s used, and then reflect on what he’s done. 
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