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A review by neuro_chef
All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
This is self-help in its purest and only valid way.
I’m not a big fan of the vast majority of self-help books. They do nothing but uphold the existing structures of society that led people to buying these books in the first place, this is different. All about Love talks about Love (duh), its place within society, and how it influences and is influenced by culture, capitalism, gender relations, etc.. It also addresses the importance of Love in our life, in all its forms and aspects, note the capitalization of the word) and how we can introduce or re-Introduce it into our lives.
The reason I loved this book is because instead of telling me what I’m doing wrong and how to fix it, it merely provides questions, some semblance of an answer, and leaves you to fill in the blank and continue the thought process by yourself. This is amazing! By guiding you towards these ideas and how to think about them, she leaves the reader to think and ponder on their own terms, using their own life, not blindly follow a one-size-fits-all “self help” scheme. It does an amazing job of that and multiple times made me stop and truly reflect.
The book also heavily delves into society’s view on Love and why its evolved to be the way it is, from the external influences by Patriarchal norms and capitalism to the cynicism people face after having their heart broken, and again it doesn't just tell us these facts ands moves on, but rather introduces ideas that guide us to not only learning how to deal with these realities but how to overcome them, and introduce Love into our collective lives, especially in places we never thought it existed.
When the book talks about love in its multiple forms, it means it. Romantic, familial, friendship, and even general community love are all specifically addressed and broken down, delved into, and analyzed. The author puts into perspective ideas and thoughts that we as a society merely acknowledge in passing or don't recognize at all, leading the reader to truly contemplate their relationship with Love in these different contexts, the result is a much more deliberate and conscious way to live our lives day by day, in an empathetic, caring, and loving way.
While the book talks about the influences of large economic and cultural systems on Love, it also talks about how Love can help improve and mend these systems. While what she says isn’t wrong, it feels overly simplistic, looking at the way to solve these huge intersectional crises as merely introducing Love into our lives feels like she isn’t giving these topics the weight they deserve, and while I completely understand where she’s coming from, and I understand that this isn’t a book about analyzing those topics in a more material way, her solutions just felt kind of lacking.
Her analysis and potential solutions for interpersonal problems though, are captivating and eye-opening, and I found myself directly implementing them into my life right after reading them!
This book will ruffle a lot of feathers, it directly addresses Patriarchial structures and the relationship between genders and how society molds them in relation to Love, both societally and interpersonally. I know that many people will read this and feel defensive or attacked because I felt this too, but I think it’s important, when we feel that way, to stop and think about why we feel it and if what she’s saying is wrong or merely something that we don’t want to hear.
Overall, I think this is one of the very few books I think everybody SHOULD pick up, I won’t claim that it magically transformed my life because it didn’t, it merely provided a framework for me to try to look at life through, and live my life as, not through giant glaring changes, but tiny incremental ones that compound over time. I think the message it presents is of the utmost importance and I hope that more people read it.
I’m not a big fan of the vast majority of self-help books. They do nothing but uphold the existing structures of society that led people to buying these books in the first place, this is different. All about Love talks about Love (duh), its place within society, and how it influences and is influenced by culture, capitalism, gender relations, etc.. It also addresses the importance of Love in our life, in all its forms and aspects, note the capitalization of the word) and how we can introduce or re-Introduce it into our lives.
The reason I loved this book is because instead of telling me what I’m doing wrong and how to fix it, it merely provides questions, some semblance of an answer, and leaves you to fill in the blank and continue the thought process by yourself. This is amazing! By guiding you towards these ideas and how to think about them, she leaves the reader to think and ponder on their own terms, using their own life, not blindly follow a one-size-fits-all “self help” scheme. It does an amazing job of that and multiple times made me stop and truly reflect.
The book also heavily delves into society’s view on Love and why its evolved to be the way it is, from the external influences by Patriarchal norms and capitalism to the cynicism people face after having their heart broken, and again it doesn't just tell us these facts ands moves on, but rather introduces ideas that guide us to not only learning how to deal with these realities but how to overcome them, and introduce Love into our collective lives, especially in places we never thought it existed.
When the book talks about love in its multiple forms, it means it. Romantic, familial, friendship, and even general community love are all specifically addressed and broken down, delved into, and analyzed. The author puts into perspective ideas and thoughts that we as a society merely acknowledge in passing or don't recognize at all, leading the reader to truly contemplate their relationship with Love in these different contexts, the result is a much more deliberate and conscious way to live our lives day by day, in an empathetic, caring, and loving way.
While the book talks about the influences of large economic and cultural systems on Love, it also talks about how Love can help improve and mend these systems. While what she says isn’t wrong, it feels overly simplistic, looking at the way to solve these huge intersectional crises as merely introducing Love into our lives feels like she isn’t giving these topics the weight they deserve, and while I completely understand where she’s coming from, and I understand that this isn’t a book about analyzing those topics in a more material way, her solutions just felt kind of lacking.
Her analysis and potential solutions for interpersonal problems though, are captivating and eye-opening, and I found myself directly implementing them into my life right after reading them!
This book will ruffle a lot of feathers, it directly addresses Patriarchial structures and the relationship between genders and how society molds them in relation to Love, both societally and interpersonally. I know that many people will read this and feel defensive or attacked because I felt this too, but I think it’s important, when we feel that way, to stop and think about why we feel it and if what she’s saying is wrong or merely something that we don’t want to hear.
Overall, I think this is one of the very few books I think everybody SHOULD pick up, I won’t claim that it magically transformed my life because it didn’t, it merely provided a framework for me to try to look at life through, and live my life as, not through giant glaring changes, but tiny incremental ones that compound over time. I think the message it presents is of the utmost importance and I hope that more people read it.