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sonice 's review for:
Books of Blood, Volumes 1-3
by Clive Barker
1.5 stars. What am I missing people. I've read reviews of this collection and people seem to love it. I can't fathom how. Nearly every one of these short stories suffers from the same problems, which I'm going to get into right now.
First, the unnessessary, pointless, frankly rediculous sexuality that is shoehorned into every tale. I'm not a prude, I'm not a homophobe, but come on man. * Rawhead rex is on a killing spree, and - suddenly masturbating - the town is chasing him down. * A man has just seen a person stuffed into a bathroom stall with his eyes ripped out, and - suddenly trying to bang a hologram - doesnt know if he's gone crazy. * A gay couple are driving along, both interally monologuing how much they dislike each other, when - suddenly buttsexs - they find themselves lost on the wrong road. * I could go on but the amount of random genitalia in this book is outright comical. Which is fine, if you aren't going for tension and terror.
Second, NOBODY ACTS THE WAY REAL PEOPLE ACT. * A woman is making love to her husband in a field, suddenly monsters show up and try to rape her, and she's like 'yes please....' hey husband, you don't mind do you? * A giant made out of human bodies has just killed thousands, and the only surviving witness decides 'you know what? I'm gonna go ahead and hitch a ride on this thing because that seems like fun'. * A man admits to kipnapping and torturing a girl to his friend, who decides 'this is fine' and grabs another beer. * I could go on. The characters in this book are all complete idiots, to the point where I just can't suspend my disbelief enough to feel any kind of connection to anyone.
Third, with only a few exceptions, these stories aren't scary. Not at all. AT. ALL.
How did this guy get so many of these works made into movies?
I have to be missing something, right?
The 1.5 stars I'll give it are only because some of these stories had interesting ideas (although horribly executed), and that SOMEHOW I did actually stay engaged enough to get through the whole thing; mostly through sheer morbid curiosity I think. 1.5/5 would not books of blood again.
First, the unnessessary, pointless, frankly rediculous sexuality that is shoehorned into every tale. I'm not a prude, I'm not a homophobe, but come on man. * Rawhead rex is on a killing spree, and - suddenly masturbating - the town is chasing him down. * A man has just seen a person stuffed into a bathroom stall with his eyes ripped out, and - suddenly trying to bang a hologram - doesnt know if he's gone crazy. * A gay couple are driving along, both interally monologuing how much they dislike each other, when - suddenly buttsexs - they find themselves lost on the wrong road. * I could go on but the amount of random genitalia in this book is outright comical. Which is fine, if you aren't going for tension and terror.
Second, NOBODY ACTS THE WAY REAL PEOPLE ACT. * A woman is making love to her husband in a field, suddenly monsters show up and try to rape her, and she's like 'yes please....' hey husband, you don't mind do you? * A giant made out of human bodies has just killed thousands, and the only surviving witness decides 'you know what? I'm gonna go ahead and hitch a ride on this thing because that seems like fun'. * A man admits to kipnapping and torturing a girl to his friend, who decides 'this is fine' and grabs another beer. * I could go on. The characters in this book are all complete idiots, to the point where I just can't suspend my disbelief enough to feel any kind of connection to anyone.
Third, with only a few exceptions, these stories aren't scary. Not at all. AT. ALL.
How did this guy get so many of these works made into movies?
I have to be missing something, right?
The 1.5 stars I'll give it are only because some of these stories had interesting ideas (although horribly executed), and that SOMEHOW I did actually stay engaged enough to get through the whole thing; mostly through sheer morbid curiosity I think. 1.5/5 would not books of blood again.