p0laris 's review for:

Knot My Sin by Jenn Bullard

3.0

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Vet complicated feelings about this one. 
Huge trigger warnings to start out with. There is on page SA multiple times, including with a minor, and a few graphic torture scenes. I have a high tolerance for that in books usually, but one of the torture scenes really did turn my stomach, and was very long and drawn out. I had to skim page after page to find where it ended and just get past it. The SA scenes are not glorified, but some are not glossed over either. 

I personally don't mind coming across this stuff in books. I tend to disbelieve the many books that have things like serial 🍇ists conveniently deciding not to 🍇 someone they've kidnapped for that purpose, or the heroes arriving just in the nick of time, all just to spare the reader of a dark romance uncomfortable situations. It's very unrealistic, and just doesn't happen all the time in the real world in my experience. So I actually respect when an author chooses to go down that road with their characters, knowing it's not something many people actually want to be faced with even if they've chosen to read a book with darker themes. 

What I didn't like, however, was that the after effects of these horrific things weren't really dealt with in a realistic way. The FMC has been SAd for 10 years, from the time she was 10 years old. She knows no other life than the one she was forced into as a litteral child, which almost always meant pain for her. While she has nightmares, and is wary of the MMCs, and has outward signs of abuse that seem to come and go, she doesn't hesitate to get physical with them once they're on board and in their redemption era. Some of that can be explained by the pull she feels towards them as her scent match and his pack, but not nearly enough of it. She was traumatized when it was convenient, but had no problem trusting them intimately. There was only one instance of hesitation on her part when it came to sex that I remember from the entire book. If she had been away from her abuser for longer than like a week at that point, and if she had been to any amount of therapy, I might believe that more.

In addition, her male omega, who has previously lived a very loved and comfy life (great parents, good life, loved by the first pack he dated bc they're scent matches and always happy, etc), was SAd by the FMC's abuser at one point. And after he's checked by the doctor and given a bath, it's just.....never mentioned again. He purposely got the abuser's attention away from the FMC so she wouldn't suffer at his hands again, so it's treated like this heroic sacrifice on his part, and because of that, he has no longstanding issues stemming from it. I hated that. I wanted him to be coddled after that and it just wasn't a thing for him or his alphas who supposedly care about him afterwards.

All that aside, I really liked how well the alphas treated both of their omegas. This was ultimately a very sweet story about a pack that will do anything for their omegas. The love felt equal between them all, and they especially doted on their newest pack member, the FMC, to show how much they wanted her. 

They messed up really bad in the beginning. Many said this reminded them of Pack Darling, and yes, it absolutely is eerily similar...for the first 25% of the book. After that, it becomes its own story entirely. But the manner in which they mess up is similar, and they had a lot to make up for.

It's odd because even though they talked a lot about groveling, I don't feel they actually did enough of it before she pretty much accepted them as her alphas and omega (she's pretty much like I'll sleep with you/bond you, but I haven't forgiven you <eye roll>). But at the same time, they had from about 30% to 100% of the book showing her how well they could treat her. So while the grovel wasn't enough, the sweet notions did cover that entire last 70% of the story, and they were very good to her. Also they would have been lost without their omega since she never asked for anything like he always did. He kept telling them they were idiots and then telling them exactly what she needed as an omega in a new house. It was cute. 

This was a really long book, and I felt the last part dragged on for a while. She essentially forgives them and then they just figure out how to be a pack after that while also trying to do their mafia duties. In all, I liked the story, despite its flaws. It kept me entertained on an off day from work, and I thrive reading dark romances.