angyr 's review for:

Beautiful Country by Qian Julie Wang

5.0

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At first I was frustrated with the voice of the author being a child. It felt like we were just witnessing all the things that happened to her. Helpless. Powerless. I missed the adult voice of understanding and process and feeling. The voice that tells us it will work out in the end. I guess in a way it was to avoid my own undocumented child version of myself. Who had no say in so many things. Who escaped into toys and books and academia because it felt like the only thing she could control. The child version of myself who sought out validation from teachers and was ashamed of her homelife. Half way through I started to understand that this book was meant to be this way. Because it was to honor and give voice to our inner child. It was to connect and heal those parts that live in secret and in the shadows. And I realize I never read about our undocu inner child. It was hard to read through all the moments /decisions we know will become traumatic in the future. The scraping by for promise of an american dream. Painful. The increasing anxiety. The childhood loss and grief. My heart feels so heavy and so full.