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kohava 's review for:
So...most of this book is not terrible. I very much appreciate the emphasis that Harvey puts on boundaries (which he calls standards). But there were a few very off-putting homophobic digs, and an overall comfort with the status quo that made me grind my teeth.
I do wish there were a companion book called "Don't Act Like a Dick, Think Like a Human Being" for men. For example, one consistent message throughout the book is that women should command more respect from men. When is Harvey going to call men out for being disrespectful?
He writes: "We are trained to be providers for you, and you are trained to look for that in us. So the moment that order of things is thrown off, the relationship is out of sync" (187). Harvey's solution is ALWAYS to play back into that order of things, rather than finding a new way forward. Are you an independent and intimidating lady? Make sure to take part in the usual patriarchal charade to keep your man's ego intact. Are you a man with a fragile ego? Be sure to only rely on those three hackneyed roles of masculinity: profess, provide, and protect.
And then there's that awkward part on "how to be a girl" and "how to get the ring". Which is not what every woman is looking for in advice. But then, maybe most of his audience is.
I do wish there were a companion book called "Don't Act Like a Dick, Think Like a Human Being" for men. For example, one consistent message throughout the book is that women should command more respect from men. When is Harvey going to call men out for being disrespectful?
He writes: "We are trained to be providers for you, and you are trained to look for that in us. So the moment that order of things is thrown off, the relationship is out of sync" (187). Harvey's solution is ALWAYS to play back into that order of things, rather than finding a new way forward. Are you an independent and intimidating lady? Make sure to take part in the usual patriarchal charade to keep your man's ego intact. Are you a man with a fragile ego? Be sure to only rely on those three hackneyed roles of masculinity: profess, provide, and protect.
And then there's that awkward part on "how to be a girl" and "how to get the ring". Which is not what every woman is looking for in advice. But then, maybe most of his audience is.