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A review by jessferg
Philomena by Martin Sixsmith
1.0
I grew up in an Irish-American family so the premise of this book is a familiar one. I had hoped the author would shed more light on the atrocities committed upon the young women (never the men who got them pregnant) and their children by their families, towns, and the convents that were supposed to "save" them.
Instead the author has written the worst kind of "vanity press" story about two children adopted by a couple of boobs. The writing is atrocious, the story is non-existent and no amount of Dame-whoever-it-is-in-the-movie will fix it. I'm damned angry about the 9.5 hours of reading time (according to my Kindle)that I wasted on this "book."
I'll save you some trouble here. This may seem long, but trust me - it still reads better than the book:
Girl in Ireland gets pregnant, goes to live with nuns, gets to live with her kid for 3 years. Kid is taken away, adopted to a couple of American assholes entrenched in the Catholic church. Kid suffers from borderline OCD and feelings of inadequacy. Kid has a "sister" also adopted along with him, but she's of no interest to you. Kid goes to high school, has a heterosexual relationship wherein the girl dies. Decides she was the love of his life. Kid spends summer working for Republican senator in DC. Decides he's a Democrat. Kid goes to Notre Dame and gets kissed by a boy. Decides he likes it. Kid fights with asshole adoptive father about all sorts of things but not about being gay. Kid goes to law school in DC against adoptive father's wishes. Supports himself by being an RA and a DJ. Gays it up. Summer job in Boston. Settles down with a partner in DC. Visits Ireland. Nuns are rude. (Just as a note, we're only on page 259.) Kid does lawyerly redistricting things while being distant to others. There's a fire at a gay movie theater. No connection, just thought we'd mention it. Kid decides it's dangerous for his career to be gay. Starts being seen with a woman. "The spring of 1980 came in and things went from bad to worse for Jimmy Carter." "June 1980 saw the beginning of the longest heat wave since US meteorological records began."(I'm not making this shit up.) Kid is still doing lawyerly things and pretending to be straight. Decides to work for the Republicans. There are probably some relationship break-ups and hook-ups but who really cares? We all learn about AIDS. Kid buys a cottage. Adoptive mother dies. Kid's boyfriend buys a horse. OMG HE SLEPT WITH SOMEONE WHO DIED OF AIDS! Reagan gets another 4 years in office. "Rock Hudson dies on 2 October 1985." (Yes, really. Page 349 folks - we're almost there!) Kid gets to hobnob with fewer Hollywood stars in the Bush years and still suffers from feelings of inadequacy. Seems to get pneumonia a lot. Decides to become an alcoholic. Kid gets diagnosed with AIDS (seriously, you didn't see this coming?)Kid goes through all the shit EVERY PERSON WHO EVER HAD AIDS goes through. Back to Ireland because, you know, he's dying. But the nuns don't care. Kid asks to be buried at the convent when he dies and the nun asks him how much he wants to pay for that. He has enough life left in him to do more boring law stuff. New drugs! Kid dies anyway (and trust me, you won't care either.) Oh, by the way, the birth mother did look for the kid, but she couldn't find him. She got married (twice) and had a couple more kids. Oh yeah, here's a chapter tacked on about how I took the birth mother to the convent to show off her dead son's gravestone. Ta da!
Need some additional reasons to stay away from this? Here are a *few* of my reading notes:
- 4-year-olds and 16-year-olds do not have the same vocabulary. Stop making up dialogue.
- "Babies" is not spelled "babbies." Even in Ireland.
- Listing a bunch of things one would see in a particular place does not invoke a sense of atmosphere. Nor does a one paragraph historical summary at the beginning of every chapter.
Seriously - everyone involved in publishing this should be ashamed of themselves and those represented in the story should file a class action law suit. I can't wait for my book club discussion....
Instead the author has written the worst kind of "vanity press" story about two children adopted by a couple of boobs. The writing is atrocious, the story is non-existent and no amount of Dame-whoever-it-is-in-the-movie will fix it. I'm damned angry about the 9.5 hours of reading time (according to my Kindle)that I wasted on this "book."
I'll save you some trouble here. This may seem long, but trust me - it still reads better than the book:
Girl in Ireland gets pregnant, goes to live with nuns, gets to live with her kid for 3 years. Kid is taken away, adopted to a couple of American assholes entrenched in the Catholic church. Kid suffers from borderline OCD and feelings of inadequacy. Kid has a "sister" also adopted along with him, but she's of no interest to you. Kid goes to high school, has a heterosexual relationship wherein the girl dies. Decides she was the love of his life. Kid spends summer working for Republican senator in DC. Decides he's a Democrat. Kid goes to Notre Dame and gets kissed by a boy. Decides he likes it. Kid fights with asshole adoptive father about all sorts of things but not about being gay. Kid goes to law school in DC against adoptive father's wishes. Supports himself by being an RA and a DJ. Gays it up. Summer job in Boston. Settles down with a partner in DC. Visits Ireland. Nuns are rude. (Just as a note, we're only on page 259.) Kid does lawyerly redistricting things while being distant to others. There's a fire at a gay movie theater. No connection, just thought we'd mention it. Kid decides it's dangerous for his career to be gay. Starts being seen with a woman. "The spring of 1980 came in and things went from bad to worse for Jimmy Carter." "June 1980 saw the beginning of the longest heat wave since US meteorological records began."(I'm not making this shit up.) Kid is still doing lawyerly things and pretending to be straight. Decides to work for the Republicans. There are probably some relationship break-ups and hook-ups but who really cares? We all learn about AIDS. Kid buys a cottage. Adoptive mother dies. Kid's boyfriend buys a horse. OMG HE SLEPT WITH SOMEONE WHO DIED OF AIDS! Reagan gets another 4 years in office. "Rock Hudson dies on 2 October 1985." (Yes, really. Page 349 folks - we're almost there!) Kid gets to hobnob with fewer Hollywood stars in the Bush years and still suffers from feelings of inadequacy. Seems to get pneumonia a lot. Decides to become an alcoholic. Kid gets diagnosed with AIDS (seriously, you didn't see this coming?)Kid goes through all the shit EVERY PERSON WHO EVER HAD AIDS goes through. Back to Ireland because, you know, he's dying. But the nuns don't care. Kid asks to be buried at the convent when he dies and the nun asks him how much he wants to pay for that. He has enough life left in him to do more boring law stuff. New drugs! Kid dies anyway (and trust me, you won't care either.) Oh, by the way, the birth mother did look for the kid, but she couldn't find him. She got married (twice) and had a couple more kids. Oh yeah, here's a chapter tacked on about how I took the birth mother to the convent to show off her dead son's gravestone. Ta da!
Need some additional reasons to stay away from this? Here are a *few* of my reading notes:
- 4-year-olds and 16-year-olds do not have the same vocabulary. Stop making up dialogue.
- "Babies" is not spelled "babbies." Even in Ireland.
- Listing a bunch of things one would see in a particular place does not invoke a sense of atmosphere. Nor does a one paragraph historical summary at the beginning of every chapter.
Seriously - everyone involved in publishing this should be ashamed of themselves and those represented in the story should file a class action law suit. I can't wait for my book club discussion....