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A review by amyrhoda
Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching, and Life by Marilee G. Adams
3.0
This book presents a question-based framework for several self-management/emotional intelligence skills. It's structured as a narrative, with fictional characters.
The skills presented are the ability to recognize one's own stress response (characterized in the book as "Judger hijack") and to manage it by changing one's perception of the situation, seeking more information, or seeking perspective. The tools presented for developing these skills are questions.
The book presents a useful framework and some interesting ideas. The stickiest one is that of Judger/Learner mindsets — the idea that you can either be "in Judger" (that is, being critical and looking for a scapegoat) or "in Learner" (that is, curious and open to new ideas and interpretations). The key to this idea is that it's possible to "switch lanes" by (1) noticing you're in Judger, (2) pausing, and (3) asking some questions to change to a more curious state of mind.
I guess the ideas and structures presented in this book might be mind-blowing if you have never read a self-help or leadership book before, but changing your questions isn't going to change your life (nor make you thin or improve your sex life, as the book implies).
The fictional narrative structure drives me nuts. I can't abide a cautionary tale. If I had known this book was written as fiction I would have looked for a different book by this author. In this case, our protagonist has to learn everything about Adams's framework, which means he has to start the book as a self-absorbed ass, a terrible boss and awful husband. A mere twelve chapters later, he's a mensch. I love good fiction and I love good non-fiction, and it's a lot harder to write good fiction.
The skills presented are the ability to recognize one's own stress response (characterized in the book as "Judger hijack") and to manage it by changing one's perception of the situation, seeking more information, or seeking perspective. The tools presented for developing these skills are questions.
The book presents a useful framework and some interesting ideas. The stickiest one is that of Judger/Learner mindsets — the idea that you can either be "in Judger" (that is, being critical and looking for a scapegoat) or "in Learner" (that is, curious and open to new ideas and interpretations). The key to this idea is that it's possible to "switch lanes" by (1) noticing you're in Judger, (2) pausing, and (3) asking some questions to change to a more curious state of mind.
I guess the ideas and structures presented in this book might be mind-blowing if you have never read a self-help or leadership book before, but changing your questions isn't going to change your life (nor make you thin or improve your sex life, as the book implies).
The fictional narrative structure drives me nuts. I can't abide a cautionary tale. If I had known this book was written as fiction I would have looked for a different book by this author. In this case, our protagonist has to learn everything about Adams's framework, which means he has to start the book as a self-absorbed ass, a terrible boss and awful husband. A mere twelve chapters later, he's a mensch. I love good fiction and I love good non-fiction, and it's a lot harder to write good fiction.