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kc_kyla_b 's review for:
She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up
by Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, Sheila Wray Gregoire, Joanna Sawatsky
I love how the authors pull specific teaching they’ve found by quoting the author. They aren’t generalizing and saying this happens in all churches. They are using real women’s experiences and real resources used by churches and parents.
A couple of the big fallocies that they address that I’ve grown up hearing in the church my WHOLE life.
1. Scientific review proves the male libido and their “visual stimulus” has been very over blown within evangelical teachings on sex. By insisting boys are visual and girls are not is biologically scientifically wrong. Teaching girls they can make grown men sin, we teach them their bodies are inherently sexual. Existing in your body is not a sin. You cannot control other’s thoughts.
2. You might have been taught that women talk more than men. Often with an undertone that women talking is annoyance to men. This is misogyny and a stereotype about women. It is not true. And when we look at actual science behind words and conversation they found men more often interrupt women talking and men talk more in formal spaces.
3. Youth group leaders might tell kids men’s brains are just gross. They think about sex every 3 seconds. Which leads into the modesty talk which is usually mostly directed at young girls. But what the young women hear then is older men, even dads at church, will see you as a stumbling block and are looking at your maturing body. So we teach boys and men they have no control over their brain, but girls have to have every control over their body.
I like that this book addresses the nuances in the modesty discussion. I like that it offers questions for moms and girls at the end of each chapter. It addresses how teaching from people like Elizabeth Elliot and Focus on the Family can sound really christian and wholesome, but can be over spiritualizing dating, dressing, and purity.
A couple of the big fallocies that they address that I’ve grown up hearing in the church my WHOLE life.
1. Scientific review proves the male libido and their “visual stimulus” has been very over blown within evangelical teachings on sex. By insisting boys are visual and girls are not is biologically scientifically wrong. Teaching girls they can make grown men sin, we teach them their bodies are inherently sexual. Existing in your body is not a sin. You cannot control other’s thoughts.
2. You might have been taught that women talk more than men. Often with an undertone that women talking is annoyance to men. This is misogyny and a stereotype about women. It is not true. And when we look at actual science behind words and conversation they found men more often interrupt women talking and men talk more in formal spaces.
3. Youth group leaders might tell kids men’s brains are just gross. They think about sex every 3 seconds. Which leads into the modesty talk which is usually mostly directed at young girls. But what the young women hear then is older men, even dads at church, will see you as a stumbling block and are looking at your maturing body. So we teach boys and men they have no control over their brain, but girls have to have every control over their body.
I like that this book addresses the nuances in the modesty discussion. I like that it offers questions for moms and girls at the end of each chapter. It addresses how teaching from people like Elizabeth Elliot and Focus on the Family can sound really christian and wholesome, but can be over spiritualizing dating, dressing, and purity.