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avagalgano 's review for:
Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir
by Dolly Alderton
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
“If you think you want to break up with someone, but practical matters are getting in the way, this is the test: imagine you could go into a room and press a big red button that would end your relationship with no fuss. No breakup conversations, no tears, no picking up your things from his house. Would you do it? If the answer is yes, you have to break up with them.”
“He told me that sometimes a breakup can be nothing but a relief for both parties; like an air-conditioning unit has finally been turned off, the low, relentless hum of which you hadn’t realized was there until everything is silent.”
“I know that love happens under the splendor of moon and stars and fireworks and sunsets but it also happens when you’re lying on blow up air beds in a childhood bedroom, sitting in the emergency room or in the queue for a passport or in a traffic jam. Love is a quiet, reassuring, relaxing, pottering, pedantic, harmonious hum of a thing; something you can easily forget is there, even though its palms are outstretched beneath you in case you fall.”
“More often than not, the love someone gives you will be a reflection of the love you give yourself. If you can’t treat yourself with kindness, care, and patience, chances are someone else lose won’t either.”
“You can acknowledge your. bad partners of behavior in relationships. You can analyze how they developed. You can do the work to make sure you never behave like that again. But it’s all you will ever be able to control. You cannot predict how another person is going to behave in a relationship. You cannot predict risk-assess, you can be cautious, you can make sensible decisions about who you choose to trust and invite into your life and heart. But you can’t manage the unruly variables of another living breathing human. To choose to love is to take a risk. Always. That’s why it’s called falling-no one meanders-with-a-compass-and -Ordnanace-survey-map into love.”
“When you’re looking for love and it seems like you might not ever find it, remember you probably have access to an abundance of it already, just not the romantic kind. This kind of love might not kiss you in the rain or propose marriage. But it will listen to you, inspire you, and restore you. It will hold you when you cry, celebrate when you’re happy, and sing All Saints with you when you’re drunk. You have so much to gain and learn from this kind of love. you can carry it with you forever. Keep us as close to you as you can.”
“He told me that sometimes a breakup can be nothing but a relief for both parties; like an air-conditioning unit has finally been turned off, the low, relentless hum of which you hadn’t realized was there until everything is silent.”
“I know that love happens under the splendor of moon and stars and fireworks and sunsets but it also happens when you’re lying on blow up air beds in a childhood bedroom, sitting in the emergency room or in the queue for a passport or in a traffic jam. Love is a quiet, reassuring, relaxing, pottering, pedantic, harmonious hum of a thing; something you can easily forget is there, even though its palms are outstretched beneath you in case you fall.”
“More often than not, the love someone gives you will be a reflection of the love you give yourself. If you can’t treat yourself with kindness, care, and patience, chances are someone else lose won’t either.”
“You can acknowledge your. bad partners of behavior in relationships. You can analyze how they developed. You can do the work to make sure you never behave like that again. But it’s all you will ever be able to control. You cannot predict how another person is going to behave in a relationship. You cannot predict risk-assess, you can be cautious, you can make sensible decisions about who you choose to trust and invite into your life and heart. But you can’t manage the unruly variables of another living breathing human. To choose to love is to take a risk. Always. That’s why it’s called falling-no one meanders-with-a-compass-and -Ordnanace-survey-map into love.”
“When you’re looking for love and it seems like you might not ever find it, remember you probably have access to an abundance of it already, just not the romantic kind. This kind of love might not kiss you in the rain or propose marriage. But it will listen to you, inspire you, and restore you. It will hold you when you cry, celebrate when you’re happy, and sing All Saints with you when you’re drunk. You have so much to gain and learn from this kind of love. you can carry it with you forever. Keep us as close to you as you can.”