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A review by pushingdessy
In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
What a gorgeous, heartbreaking, hopeful book. After I read “Her body and other parties” a few years ago, a friend recommended this memoir. I’ve heard great things about it, but I’m generally not a memoir person, so I didn’t know what to expect.
I was blown away.
This is a book about abuse within a sapphic relationship, a topic that, as the author sets out to explore throughout her journey, has historically been almost taboo. If marginalized communities/identities are often expected to conform to the model minority idea to “prove” their right to exist, queer relationships are expected to be at least as good, if not unequivocally better, than het relationships, a myth that the community itself sometimes perpetuates. Thus, the idea of abuse within a same-sex relationship has often been denied or attributed to other factors, adding an extra layer of complication into the victim’s feelings.
This is not your classic memoir, though. Machado structures her chapters around tropes, places, moments, genres, narrative devices. This makes for a non-linear story where the limits between memoir and novel seem to blur. If you enjoy a more direct, no-frills account of an abusive relationship, then perhaps this won’t be for you. Personally, I thought that the narrative style in no way diminished the author’s very real, harrowing experiences or made it hard for me to empathize. On the contrary, it was a unique, multilayered way for a survivor to unpack and share as much of it as she wanted to.
It was also interesting to guess at the inspiration behind some of the stories of “Her body and other parties”.
Before reading it, I wouldn’t have thought that a memoir about domestic abuse could ever be a favourite book of mine - but I’d give it at least 100 stars and a hug now.
I was blown away.
This is a book about abuse within a sapphic relationship, a topic that, as the author sets out to explore throughout her journey, has historically been almost taboo. If marginalized communities/identities are often expected to conform to the model minority idea to “prove” their right to exist, queer relationships are expected to be at least as good, if not unequivocally better, than het relationships, a myth that the community itself sometimes perpetuates. Thus, the idea of abuse within a same-sex relationship has often been denied or attributed to other factors, adding an extra layer of complication into the victim’s feelings.
This is not your classic memoir, though. Machado structures her chapters around tropes, places, moments, genres, narrative devices. This makes for a non-linear story where the limits between memoir and novel seem to blur. If you enjoy a more direct, no-frills account of an abusive relationship, then perhaps this won’t be for you. Personally, I thought that the narrative style in no way diminished the author’s very real, harrowing experiences or made it hard for me to empathize. On the contrary, it was a unique, multilayered way for a survivor to unpack and share as much of it as she wanted to.
It was also interesting to guess at the inspiration behind some of the stories of “Her body and other parties”.
Before reading it, I wouldn’t have thought that a memoir about domestic abuse could ever be a favourite book of mine - but I’d give it at least 100 stars and a hug now.