A review by khippies
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel

5.0

So comforted by the fact that this book exists. Before reading it I could feel the need for this insight and disclosure about such a taboo topic. This book is shadow work. It transcends demonizing adultery, which I believe we are more than ready for the in the modern world. My only criticism is how the majority of the book is hetero-normative. Towards the end there is more talk of relationships that are queer and non conventional. I believe those populations to be more evolved in the topic of non-monogamy, which is at the threshold of healing and transcending infidelity. At the same time this book does not at all demonize monogamy, which is important since true healing is inclusive. There is no talk of folks who are trans or intersex in this book, and how their unique experiences within relationships and sexuality contribute to this issue, which I believe would enrich the conversation 10 fold. Overall, a great piece to debate. I think everyone interested in long-term partnership should give this a read, even if you aren’t married and even if you haven’t personally come across infidelity. This book helps to evolve our relational language and outlook.