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A review by raoul_g
The Zimzum of Love: A New Way of Understanding Marriage by Rob Bell, Kristen Bell
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
4.0
This is a very enjoyable, easy-to-read and quite short book about marriage written by Rob and Kristen Bell. As far as I remember this is the first book on this topic that I ever read. Still, I imagine that this book has quite a different approach than most marriage books. Here's how Bell describes it:
"This book, however, is about the deeper mysteries of marriage. How is it that the same relationship can be capable of producing so much joy and so much pain? How is it that the slightest thoughts and actions can so significantly change the space between two people? How is it that the space between two people can be so unique that it exists nowhere else in the universe? How is it that flawed, fragile, flesh-and-blood human beings can relate to each other in such a way that they show each other the divine?"
If these are questions that you are asking yourself or at least find interesting, I recommend you listen to Rob and Kristen's take on them. You just might get something out of it, especially if you are in a relationship.
"Something powerful and profound happens in marriage something involving energy, love, and the deepest forces of the universe. We believe that you can grow in your awareness of these realities, learning how to better see what's going on in the space between you, how it works, and how the love can flow all the more freely between you."
Much of the particular advice is quite common-sense:
- shared experiences strengthens your bond,
- allow differences between you to expand your perspectives,
- sacrificial love transforms your relationship like nothing else,
- some experiences belong just two the two of you and shouldn't be shared with anyone else,
- you need to keep forgiving each other,
and so on.
In my opinion these are important things and the fact that you probably know most of it already doesn't take away from it. But I see the real strength of the book in the language for talking about love that it offers. It describes the relationship between two people in marriage as a space that is responsive, dynamic, exclusive and sacred, and there is a chapter explaining each of these aspects. As always, language defines our perception, and in this case, I believe, your perception can only benefit from the language presented here.
This section from the end of the book shows the grand and beautiful vision of marriage the authors have:
"There's a lot that's broken in the world, a lot that isn't one. From war and racism and injustice to abuse and addiction and people taking each other to court and families breaking apart. We live in a broken, fractured, fragmented world.
But when you are faithful to each other, zimzuming as you act for the well-being of the other, the space between you becomes a place in the universe that isn't broken and divided but one and whole. This is why the world needs marriage - more marriages, better marriages. The world needs more places that are one and whole. Great marriages shine, they stand out, they inspire, they bring hope, they speak to our deepest desires for a world that is one."
"This book, however, is about the deeper mysteries of marriage. How is it that the same relationship can be capable of producing so much joy and so much pain? How is it that the slightest thoughts and actions can so significantly change the space between two people? How is it that the space between two people can be so unique that it exists nowhere else in the universe? How is it that flawed, fragile, flesh-and-blood human beings can relate to each other in such a way that they show each other the divine?"
If these are questions that you are asking yourself or at least find interesting, I recommend you listen to Rob and Kristen's take on them. You just might get something out of it, especially if you are in a relationship.
"Something powerful and profound happens in marriage something involving energy, love, and the deepest forces of the universe. We believe that you can grow in your awareness of these realities, learning how to better see what's going on in the space between you, how it works, and how the love can flow all the more freely between you."
Much of the particular advice is quite common-sense:
- shared experiences strengthens your bond,
- allow differences between you to expand your perspectives,
- sacrificial love transforms your relationship like nothing else,
- some experiences belong just two the two of you and shouldn't be shared with anyone else,
- you need to keep forgiving each other,
and so on.
In my opinion these are important things and the fact that you probably know most of it already doesn't take away from it. But I see the real strength of the book in the language for talking about love that it offers. It describes the relationship between two people in marriage as a space that is responsive, dynamic, exclusive and sacred, and there is a chapter explaining each of these aspects. As always, language defines our perception, and in this case, I believe, your perception can only benefit from the language presented here.
This section from the end of the book shows the grand and beautiful vision of marriage the authors have:
"There's a lot that's broken in the world, a lot that isn't one. From war and racism and injustice to abuse and addiction and people taking each other to court and families breaking apart. We live in a broken, fractured, fragmented world.
But when you are faithful to each other, zimzuming as you act for the well-being of the other, the space between you becomes a place in the universe that isn't broken and divided but one and whole. This is why the world needs marriage - more marriages, better marriages. The world needs more places that are one and whole. Great marriages shine, they stand out, they inspire, they bring hope, they speak to our deepest desires for a world that is one."