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A review by rbruehlman
Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
3.0
I instantly knew when I read <i>The Midnight Library</i> that Matt Haig must have suffered from depression. He captured the thought process of a depressed, self-hating person all too well, with a stinging accuracy that a person who has never suffered from depression would be able to write. Depression is irrational, hateful, brutal. There is no real way to describe what it's like unless you've lived it.
This is a very powerfully written books in some respects. Matt Haig poured his soul out into this book, depicting his depression in a very vivid, painful way. To do so must have been both incredibly hard--who wants to think of and relive the deepest, darkest time of your life?--and shame-inducing, because it is showing the most vulnerable side of yourself to the whole wide world.
Still, I just ... didn't connect to the book. His description of his descent into depression was gripping, especially early on in the book, but then I was left with a ... so what? It sounds so cruel to say, given the topic. Maybe there is not supposed to be a point, just sharing someone's experience of depression. But after the first third or so of the book, it just didn't really resonate with me. He doesn't really talk about his experience of getting better. He just sort of does, over time. It felt like a story without a real beginning-middle-end arc, that ends with fuzzy edges and no real sense of closure or finality. The depression recedes over time, and it ends, quietly, with me waiting for some kind of "aha". Anticlimatic.
I found it odd that Matt Haig never seemed to go to therapy or try medication. He does allude to why he didn't want to touch medication, and I can understand his reasoning there. However, I find it difficult to wrap my head around the fact that he didn't really seem to seek out help otherwise. I don't mean to be judgmental when I write this; people can have lots of reasons for not seeking help. Those reasons can be extremely interesting and thought-provoking, and add a richness to someone's story. However, Matt Haig simply never addresses it, and I'm left baffled why he suffered so intensely on his own. I feel like I would have been much better able to connect with his story if he had explored this.
I guess I ultimately I somehow felt disconnected from his experience and who Matt Haig was. It's a very odd sentiment. I feel like I should feel moved by the book, but I just wasn't. I'm unsettled, and I feel sorry for him, but I did not connect with his story and didn't really enjoy reading it.
This is a very powerfully written books in some respects. Matt Haig poured his soul out into this book, depicting his depression in a very vivid, painful way. To do so must have been both incredibly hard--who wants to think of and relive the deepest, darkest time of your life?--and shame-inducing, because it is showing the most vulnerable side of yourself to the whole wide world.
Still, I just ... didn't connect to the book. His description of his descent into depression was gripping, especially early on in the book, but then I was left with a ... so what? It sounds so cruel to say, given the topic. Maybe there is not supposed to be a point, just sharing someone's experience of depression. But after the first third or so of the book, it just didn't really resonate with me. He doesn't really talk about his experience of getting better. He just sort of does, over time. It felt like a story without a real beginning-middle-end arc, that ends with fuzzy edges and no real sense of closure or finality. The depression recedes over time, and it ends, quietly, with me waiting for some kind of "aha". Anticlimatic.
I found it odd that Matt Haig never seemed to go to therapy or try medication. He does allude to why he didn't want to touch medication, and I can understand his reasoning there. However, I find it difficult to wrap my head around the fact that he didn't really seem to seek out help otherwise. I don't mean to be judgmental when I write this; people can have lots of reasons for not seeking help. Those reasons can be extremely interesting and thought-provoking, and add a richness to someone's story. However, Matt Haig simply never addresses it, and I'm left baffled why he suffered so intensely on his own. I feel like I would have been much better able to connect with his story if he had explored this.
I guess I ultimately I somehow felt disconnected from his experience and who Matt Haig was. It's a very odd sentiment. I feel like I should feel moved by the book, but I just wasn't. I'm unsettled, and I feel sorry for him, but I did not connect with his story and didn't really enjoy reading it.