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A review by maigahannatu
Marriage Matters: Extraordinary Change through Ordinary Moments by Winston T. Smith
5.0
I've read quite a few books on marriage that I didn't like that much. Probably because they often define what men are like and what women are like and how men react and how women react. And then John and I are thinking, is something wrong with us? Because we just don't fit those stereotypes. This book didn't do that at all. Instead, it helps you to see that conflict and problems in marriage are because neither husband nor wife are perfect. The big take-away for me was when I am upset with my husband, step back and take a look. Generally I am also at fault. How do I need to change is the question to ask, not how can I change my husband.
The author does say several times that if you are in an abusive marriage, that you need to get help. If you are having issues that are hurtful to your spouse (such as pornography or gambling) you also need to get help. These are things that you and your spouse probably can't fix by yourselves.
The author also talks about what it looks like to truly ask for forgiveness and to extend forgiveness. This is not a skill that comes to most of us naturally.
I appreciated this book because it was a good reminder to look at MY imperfections and take the first step to change ME. I need to see the ugly in me, before I can address the ugly in my spouse.
The author does say several times that if you are in an abusive marriage, that you need to get help. If you are having issues that are hurtful to your spouse (such as pornography or gambling) you also need to get help. These are things that you and your spouse probably can't fix by yourselves.
The author also talks about what it looks like to truly ask for forgiveness and to extend forgiveness. This is not a skill that comes to most of us naturally.
I appreciated this book because it was a good reminder to look at MY imperfections and take the first step to change ME. I need to see the ugly in me, before I can address the ugly in my spouse.