A review by alalpaca
House of Sky and Breath by Sarah J. Maas

1.0

That moment when you think that the author can't get any worse and somehow she discovers a new low.

At this point, I'm convinced that Sarah J. Maas just writes her own fanfiction and you can't convince me otherwise. She even does her own crossover with that ending.

Were my expectations of this book lowest of the low? Yes. Was I disappointed anyway? Hell, yes!

In this book there weren't any good points, so let's move on straight to the bad part:

- the only parts with the plot were the prologue and the last 4-5 chapters. Yes, the book, which is 800-pages long, has a plot that took only 80 pages.

- what was there else? we had a bunch of characters who wanted to f*ck someone and they either didn't or did. Yep. Seven hundred pages of absolutely nothing. Seven hundred pages of a bunch of "males" (why does Sarah J. Maas treat her character like animals? You have no idea how often the term "breeding" was mentioned in this one) hanging out in Bryce's apartment whining about their father/alpha/queen over and over again.

- one of the early plot points was looking for a couple of rebels - Sophie and Emile. All of them were looking for those super-powerful thunderbirds (of course, they are super-powerful, it's Sarah's fanfiction) for at least 70% of the book (when they had a spare moment between whining and f*cking of course) and then we get to know, that Bryce found Emile around 20% of the book and just didn't tell anyone. Haven't even mentioned it in her POV. Because she's so "smart" and "powerful" and "awesome".

- By the way, about Bryce. Does this "female" know how to speak like a normal person? Her every line has to be snarkiest than the previous one. I have no idea how anyone can stand her. She literally can't listen to anyone else except herself. The freaking prince of "Hel" has to tell her to stop fooling around and finally start learning her powers. Did she listen - no. She started to do something only after her friend's throat was ripped out (don't worry, he's alive. apparently for these being ripped throats are nothing).

- and for Bryce's other friend. This time a dead one - Danika. She was alive for 5 chapters in the first book. But she's still the main plot drive (of whatever is left of the plot). This "female" had more secrets than Bryce had pairs of "feminine" lace underwear. Side point, Sarah J. Maas has to start her own "How to find your femininity?" courses with how often she describes something as "utterly feminine"Back to Danika - now we know that she helped rebels, had a mate, looked for another heir for wolves and she loved Bryce (as a friend), but never ever really told her anything. What a busy girl.

- another point - Bryce's and Hunt's relationship. They are mates. The truest of truest mates. Who is surprised? No one. They just make me sick. No matter what is happening around them, they behave like sex-starved idiots. Someone was killed - don't worry, let me f*ck you. They argued - all is forgotten, we just need to f*ck. Everywhere, anytime. And when they are not in the process, they are thinking about it constantly. At this point of my life, I'm so ready to puke is I see more curled toes, silk slicknesses, and velvety iridescent heads of giant penises. Sarah continuously tries to convince me, that they have true love "because they truly see each other for who they are", but she hadn't shown it even once. When they try to start any meaningful conversation it just inevitably turns to sex. I wouldn't argue, sex is a very important part of relationships but it is far from only one.

I guess, it's high time for me to jump off this Sarah J. Maas trainwreck.