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A review by kelly_e
Vagina Problems: Endometriosis, Painful Sex, and Other Taboo Topics by Lara Parker
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
4.75
Thank you to St. Martin's Press for providing me with an e-ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
4.75 stars
"We're not talking about the fact than an estimated 176 million people worldwide live with endometriosis, and around one in ten people with vaginas will experience some sort of vaginal or pelvic pain in their lifetime. We're not talking about painful sex, or painful orgasms, or periods that are so debilitating they keep you home from work or school. That's what we should be talking about."
This is Lara Parker's first person account of her life living with endometriosis, and other aliments she dubs her Vagina Problems. It is her story, but it is also the story of so many women around the world. She delves deep into the details of how living with chronic pain has impacted every facet of her life since the age of 14. She explores the shame and stigma she felt; the agonizing struggle to be heard by her doctors, to the point of blaming herself; and the general lack of information and support available relating to women's sexual health problems.
From the very first line, I was simply immersed in Lara's honest account of living with chronic pain. Her determination and perseverance are inspiring. Her vulnerability and rawness are empowering. Her dialogue and humour are educational and informative. And it is absolutely heart-wrenching to know her (and so many other women) are not seen or heard. At times her writing gets repetitive, but given the nature of the subject matter I cannot fault her here. These illnesses are real and this book should definitely help raise awareness and normalize talking about taboo topics surrounding women's sexual health. As heart-breaking as it is to learn so many girls suffer in silence, Lara offers hope.
As Lara says herself, Vagina Problems is the book she wished she had back when she was searching for answers, and for that reason I highly recommend it to anyone experiencing their own vagina issues. For this book to be truly transformative it is a MUST read for all women, but even more importantly for men. It is our chance to all inch a little closer to understanding, and offer a much more compassionate approach. Approximately half of the world's population has a vagina, and yet no one wants to talk about them. It is time that changes, and with this book Lara certainly helps create a safe space for women to talk about their sexual health problems.
Favourite Quotes
"What I needed was a book that told me that I wasn't alone - and one that gave me permission to just be upset about going through this."
"Despite the havoc endometriosis has wreaked on my life, it's also shown me my own strength. It has forced me to face my biggest fears time and time again and prove to myself that I can get through them. It has given me the beautiful ability to experience not only sympathy for others who are suffering, but true empathy. It has made me a fighter - not just against this disease, but against any and all bullshit in my life. It has forced me to appreciate the little moments in life a bit more, because to me, they really are so fleeting. It has forced me to appreciate my resilience, even when I am not feeling particularly durable. And because of endometriosis, I know how to listen to my body. Despite all this, if given the choice, I would obviously still choose not to deal with it. I would always choose that. Always. But in many ways, I would not be who I am today if I did not have endometriosis. And although it's difficult to see on my bad days - the person I am is pretty fucking great."
"All I ask is for space to feel how I feel. We all deserve that. All of us."
"Most of the time, I try to just let myself feel what I feel. Being able to admit my sadness, my anger, my frustration... all of it... is the only way I have found to make peace with this because I did not choose for my life to be defined this way."
"But when you whole existence feels like a burden, asking for even more help isn't as easy as it may seem."
4.75 stars
"We're not talking about the fact than an estimated 176 million people worldwide live with endometriosis, and around one in ten people with vaginas will experience some sort of vaginal or pelvic pain in their lifetime. We're not talking about painful sex, or painful orgasms, or periods that are so debilitating they keep you home from work or school. That's what we should be talking about."
This is Lara Parker's first person account of her life living with endometriosis, and other aliments she dubs her Vagina Problems. It is her story, but it is also the story of so many women around the world. She delves deep into the details of how living with chronic pain has impacted every facet of her life since the age of 14. She explores the shame and stigma she felt; the agonizing struggle to be heard by her doctors, to the point of blaming herself; and the general lack of information and support available relating to women's sexual health problems.
From the very first line, I was simply immersed in Lara's honest account of living with chronic pain. Her determination and perseverance are inspiring. Her vulnerability and rawness are empowering. Her dialogue and humour are educational and informative. And it is absolutely heart-wrenching to know her (and so many other women) are not seen or heard. At times her writing gets repetitive, but given the nature of the subject matter I cannot fault her here. These illnesses are real and this book should definitely help raise awareness and normalize talking about taboo topics surrounding women's sexual health. As heart-breaking as it is to learn so many girls suffer in silence, Lara offers hope.
As Lara says herself, Vagina Problems is the book she wished she had back when she was searching for answers, and for that reason I highly recommend it to anyone experiencing their own vagina issues. For this book to be truly transformative it is a MUST read for all women, but even more importantly for men. It is our chance to all inch a little closer to understanding, and offer a much more compassionate approach. Approximately half of the world's population has a vagina, and yet no one wants to talk about them. It is time that changes, and with this book Lara certainly helps create a safe space for women to talk about their sexual health problems.
Favourite Quotes
"What I needed was a book that told me that I wasn't alone - and one that gave me permission to just be upset about going through this."
"Despite the havoc endometriosis has wreaked on my life, it's also shown me my own strength. It has forced me to face my biggest fears time and time again and prove to myself that I can get through them. It has given me the beautiful ability to experience not only sympathy for others who are suffering, but true empathy. It has made me a fighter - not just against this disease, but against any and all bullshit in my life. It has forced me to appreciate the little moments in life a bit more, because to me, they really are so fleeting. It has forced me to appreciate my resilience, even when I am not feeling particularly durable. And because of endometriosis, I know how to listen to my body. Despite all this, if given the choice, I would obviously still choose not to deal with it. I would always choose that. Always. But in many ways, I would not be who I am today if I did not have endometriosis. And although it's difficult to see on my bad days - the person I am is pretty fucking great."
"All I ask is for space to feel how I feel. We all deserve that. All of us."
"Most of the time, I try to just let myself feel what I feel. Being able to admit my sadness, my anger, my frustration... all of it... is the only way I have found to make peace with this because I did not choose for my life to be defined this way."
"But when you whole existence feels like a burden, asking for even more help isn't as easy as it may seem."