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phlub 's review for:
Before We Were Yours
by Lisa Wingate
nothing like a terribly written book to make u really think about your own mortality. ms lisa REALLY tested my patience with this one……
choice excerpts that really locked in how much time i was wasting:
“I’m as anxious as a hamster in a very small cage.” …………..really nothing further to say about this one.
“For almost three weeks now, we've been hunkered down behind the barricades fighting off the press, whose main goal is to paint us as criminally elitist because we've engaged premium nursing home care for my grandmother, who can afford it, by the way.” and we are supposed to sympathize with this character ????????????
also: “what are these people, nuts?” in reference to people exercising their right to protest against the for-profit nursing home industry and its systemic neglect, exploitation, and financial abuse of elders and their loved ones…………again, we are supposed to like this character. does she show any growth at all throughout the book? of course not!
“The family name didn’t get me through Columbia Law School with honors.” girl the family name of being a senator’s daughter literally did help with that a lot im sure.
“Was he really thinking of letting me into the workshop tonight? Or was he thinking of something…more intimate.” girl idgaf about you OR trent!
“I’m his favorite. I’ve always been his golden girl.” if anyone ever said this to me about their dad i would smack them upside the head probably. why does she sound like v stiviano talking about being mr sterlings right hand arm man silly rabbit
“I own meditation music that sounds like this, but I seldom take time for the real thing.” ……am i supposed to care? save me the word count PLEASE
“What is happening here?” this is from the internal monologue of one of the two narrators. i cant remember which and i dont even care to check tbh. SHOW DONT TELL FOR GODS SAKE and stop overexplaining every single thing to death and beyond. what a useless and stupid sentence.
“This is what’s possible when love is real and strong … This is what I want for myself, but I sometimes wonder if it’s possible for our modern generation. We’re so distracted, so … busy.” if i wanted to hear about shit like this i would go read a substack article written in all lowercase by a 19yo trust funded college freshman in dimes square, not an (somehow? someone tell me how pls?) award-winning book
there are more but im afraid that going back and finding them is now getting to be too tedious. unfortunately i have a pathological need to finish every book that i start reading (in the naive hope that it will somehow fix all its flaws as soon as i turn a page) and also this was this month’s book club pick, so i did read the whole thing, but I would like lisa wingate to PERSONALLY know that it took years off my life.
moving past the poor writing, i originally gave it two stars for having the IDEA to write a book shedding light on the horrors of the TCHS and Georgia Tann’s work, and the fascinating history behind the complex political machine and cultural attitudes that enabled such operations. unfortunately, she should have stopped there and handed over the idea to more capable hands. i took back one of those stars because i think what is meant to be an exposé falls flat as an exploitative, voyeuristic, disrespectful, cheap, sensationalized shitshow that ultimately echos the messaging of Tann herself. not to mention the very troubling treatment of race, class, and disability, which lacks any sense of nuance, depth, or sensitivity, and instead reveals wingate’s own apparent biases. the star that remains has less to do with the text itself and more to do with wingate’s activism around the subject matter and her later work in connecting TCHS survivors and compiling their personal accounts in Before and After, which I am interested to read despite everything I’ve said about this book. fingers crossed ms lisa didn’t get paid by the word for that one too, and that her ego doesn’t suffocate the voices she was entrusted to raise the way it smothered every page in this book.
tldr this text is a complete injustice to the lives, trauma, and legacy of over 5000 children who were stolen, abused, sold, silenced, and in many cases killed. it exploits them for entertainment and avoids any depth in engaging with the subject matter. and to boot, it was one of the most poorly-written books ive read in recent memory.
choice excerpts that really locked in how much time i was wasting:
“I’m as anxious as a hamster in a very small cage.” …………..really nothing further to say about this one.
“For almost three weeks now, we've been hunkered down behind the barricades fighting off the press, whose main goal is to paint us as criminally elitist because we've engaged premium nursing home care for my grandmother, who can afford it, by the way.” and we are supposed to sympathize with this character ????????????
also: “what are these people, nuts?” in reference to people exercising their right to protest against the for-profit nursing home industry and its systemic neglect, exploitation, and financial abuse of elders and their loved ones…………again, we are supposed to like this character. does she show any growth at all throughout the book? of course not!
“The family name didn’t get me through Columbia Law School with honors.” girl the family name of being a senator’s daughter literally did help with that a lot im sure.
“Was he really thinking of letting me into the workshop tonight? Or was he thinking of something…more intimate.” girl idgaf about you OR trent!
“I’m his favorite. I’ve always been his golden girl.” if anyone ever said this to me about their dad i would smack them upside the head probably. why does she sound like v stiviano talking about being mr sterlings right hand arm man silly rabbit
“I own meditation music that sounds like this, but I seldom take time for the real thing.” ……am i supposed to care? save me the word count PLEASE
“What is happening here?” this is from the internal monologue of one of the two narrators. i cant remember which and i dont even care to check tbh. SHOW DONT TELL FOR GODS SAKE and stop overexplaining every single thing to death and beyond. what a useless and stupid sentence.
“This is what’s possible when love is real and strong … This is what I want for myself, but I sometimes wonder if it’s possible for our modern generation. We’re so distracted, so … busy.” if i wanted to hear about shit like this i would go read a substack article written in all lowercase by a 19yo trust funded college freshman in dimes square, not an (somehow? someone tell me how pls?) award-winning book
there are more but im afraid that going back and finding them is now getting to be too tedious. unfortunately i have a pathological need to finish every book that i start reading (in the naive hope that it will somehow fix all its flaws as soon as i turn a page) and also this was this month’s book club pick, so i did read the whole thing, but I would like lisa wingate to PERSONALLY know that it took years off my life.
moving past the poor writing, i originally gave it two stars for having the IDEA to write a book shedding light on the horrors of the TCHS and Georgia Tann’s work, and the fascinating history behind the complex political machine and cultural attitudes that enabled such operations. unfortunately, she should have stopped there and handed over the idea to more capable hands. i took back one of those stars because i think what is meant to be an exposé falls flat as an exploitative, voyeuristic, disrespectful, cheap, sensationalized shitshow that ultimately echos the messaging of Tann herself. not to mention the very troubling treatment of race, class, and disability, which lacks any sense of nuance, depth, or sensitivity, and instead reveals wingate’s own apparent biases. the star that remains has less to do with the text itself and more to do with wingate’s activism around the subject matter and her later work in connecting TCHS survivors and compiling their personal accounts in Before and After, which I am interested to read despite everything I’ve said about this book. fingers crossed ms lisa didn’t get paid by the word for that one too, and that her ego doesn’t suffocate the voices she was entrusted to raise the way it smothered every page in this book.
tldr this text is a complete injustice to the lives, trauma, and legacy of over 5000 children who were stolen, abused, sold, silenced, and in many cases killed. it exploits them for entertainment and avoids any depth in engaging with the subject matter. and to boot, it was one of the most poorly-written books ive read in recent memory.