Scan barcode
A review by polyreader
Loved and Wanted: A Memoir of Choice, Children, and Womanhood by Christa Parravani
4.0
“When I got home I crawled into bed and cried. I didn’t stop crying for days and not because I’d made the wrong choice, but because sometimes the right choice hurts. There was little to no support for those complex feelings.”
Loved and Wanted is a haunting roller coaster of a memoir observing the the depths and brutalities of Motherhood. Though not the Motherhood that is often, still, highlighted as the ‘universal’ experience in stories and the media. I ploughed through this book faster than I knew imaginable with a toddler by my side. I thought I’d pick it up to read bits and pieces, but devoured it in a day.
Parravani’s memoir is rooted in themes of misogyny & patriarchy, choice and the rights of women -specifically in contemporary USA- & what it means to have a uterus. It is an exploration of Parravani’s life & choices, of lack there of. Christa lives a relatively comfortable, middle-class life (though she has her complaints). She has student debt, a job, two daughters, a husband, she’s white, straight, and cis-gendered. Regardless of all of these privileges, when faced with the reality of a new pregnancy that she both doesn’t want & cannot afford, she finds it nearly impossible to access termination as an option.
This memoir gave me a much deeper insight into the US healthcare system, & the impossibly outdated laws that are still governing women’s bodies and life choices. I cannot believe how far we have yet to come, & how much work there is to be done in these areas. Christa’s experience was painful & heartbreaking. I can’t even imagine how much more difficult it would be for people in these situations, living without the privilege that Christa harbours.
Not only is this about abortion rights, it also analyses Motherhood in general & each of Parravani’s experiences through pregnancy & the birth of her children. There are sections that I related to, as I’m sure many, if not all mothers could, and there are some that I felt detatched from. Though that’s the thing with Motherhood, it is not the universal experience everyone makes it out to be. It is individual. Sure, we all share something, in a way, as mothers.. but that’s like saying we all share something as humans. Much like the human experience, there is a mother experience, but that’s about as far as it reaches.
I gobble up these memoirs, and fiction with themes of motherhood, because of just that - it’s unique for every individual. I want to hear these stories and break that stigma of ‘ugh, Mum stuff’. You came from a mother, we all did, and the experiences that these mothers went through, to give us life, is one of the most brutal experiences of life. We don’t give them enough credit.
All in all, I highly recommend this book to everyone. My only qualms with it would be that it is written from a very privileged perspective and I feel that she doesn’t always see it that way - but it is a memoir about her body and experience so I guess that’s her prerogative. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Loved and Wanted is a haunting roller coaster of a memoir observing the the depths and brutalities of Motherhood. Though not the Motherhood that is often, still, highlighted as the ‘universal’ experience in stories and the media. I ploughed through this book faster than I knew imaginable with a toddler by my side. I thought I’d pick it up to read bits and pieces, but devoured it in a day.
Parravani’s memoir is rooted in themes of misogyny & patriarchy, choice and the rights of women -specifically in contemporary USA- & what it means to have a uterus. It is an exploration of Parravani’s life & choices, of lack there of. Christa lives a relatively comfortable, middle-class life (though she has her complaints). She has student debt, a job, two daughters, a husband, she’s white, straight, and cis-gendered. Regardless of all of these privileges, when faced with the reality of a new pregnancy that she both doesn’t want & cannot afford, she finds it nearly impossible to access termination as an option.
This memoir gave me a much deeper insight into the US healthcare system, & the impossibly outdated laws that are still governing women’s bodies and life choices. I cannot believe how far we have yet to come, & how much work there is to be done in these areas. Christa’s experience was painful & heartbreaking. I can’t even imagine how much more difficult it would be for people in these situations, living without the privilege that Christa harbours.
Not only is this about abortion rights, it also analyses Motherhood in general & each of Parravani’s experiences through pregnancy & the birth of her children. There are sections that I related to, as I’m sure many, if not all mothers could, and there are some that I felt detatched from. Though that’s the thing with Motherhood, it is not the universal experience everyone makes it out to be. It is individual. Sure, we all share something, in a way, as mothers.. but that’s like saying we all share something as humans. Much like the human experience, there is a mother experience, but that’s about as far as it reaches.
I gobble up these memoirs, and fiction with themes of motherhood, because of just that - it’s unique for every individual. I want to hear these stories and break that stigma of ‘ugh, Mum stuff’. You came from a mother, we all did, and the experiences that these mothers went through, to give us life, is one of the most brutal experiences of life. We don’t give them enough credit.
All in all, I highly recommend this book to everyone. My only qualms with it would be that it is written from a very privileged perspective and I feel that she doesn’t always see it that way - but it is a memoir about her body and experience so I guess that’s her prerogative. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️