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A review by elliottzink
Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man by Tim Allen
1.0
9/11 and the subsequent War on Terror is the big demarcation point in my life in the same way that the Assassination of President Kennedy was for my father, the death of his uncle in the First World War was for my grandfather, and what I suspect the COVID-19 pandemic will be for my niece. There occurs a growing up point afterwards. You can then view popular culture up to that point in three ways: what is nostalgic. What is forgettable. Finally, what is regrettable.
For myself Fred Rogers is in the nostalgic camp. I’d say the Free Willy series is entirely forgettable. While, I would classify the Home Alone series as regrettable (because the psychological, and physical torture of grown men by the youngest son of a rich Midwest family no longer tickles me the way it once did).
Tim Allen manages to straddle all three. I think that Toy Story is as fine a film today as when I first saw it theaters and I would be lying if I discounted Tim Allen’s role in making the film as good as it was.
Home Improvement was, in terms of ratings, the ‘90s greatest sitcom. Rewatching a few episodes recently and I don’t think there exists a single moment in that series that is particularly stunning. The truly great sitcoms have had those moments and some like All in the Family have dozens to their name but not Home Improvement.
Then we get to this book: the regrettable.
I’m old enough to remember this book being advertised on TV- which was and still is odd to me. I never bought it, it was never in our house, but I got curious to see if I could find it without having to spend very much money on it. I figured it would be bad because say what you will about his abilities as an actor (and in the right role he is very good) his standup routine is phenomenally awful, and this book promises to be part standup routine plus memoir.
The memoir portion is the least awful part of this book and I do feel for him for losing his father in the way that he did. I think a mature writer could well take that experience and craft a very moving memoir from it all. I even think a certain amount of Allen’s kind of humour could be used and with a good amount of self reflection an enviable book could be written.
I wonder too if Allen’s humour as is represents a kind of compulsion to his father’s loss. I don’t think his sort of hyper masculinity was a “sign of the times,” since John Updike and Norman Mailer were royally criticized for a far subtler version of machismo than Tim Allen. Rather it looks like a clear attempt to make up for his father’s death- which I think is plain he did, but in possibly the worst way imaginable because in addition to “jokes” this book is also advice. From Tim Allen.
Dear God.
On reflection I suspect what happened is that Tim Allen actually did get ‘knocked upside the head,’ and that he just set poorly like an un-level basement because only an un-level basement would think: “I'm very much like the woman. I'm the one who's always getting punished.” is funny and not wh-what the hell?
“The next time I see Cher I’m going to have to have a word with her.” Oh. OK.
“The only thing I wonder about is the women in the men's locker room thing. What's that all about? Ever see men clamoring to get in the women's locker room? They respect women's privacy in the locker room, unlike some women color commentators who made it a point to go into the men's locker room. Men just wouldn't do that.”
As I recall there was a subplot in the movie Porky’s about men trying to get into the women’s locker room- a film so bad that it just went right to regrettable on release and never even leaned towards the nostalgic though it spawned a series of sequels.
“On the other hand, I might be totally wrong.”
You don’t say Tim?
Indeed, maybe I’m wrong too. Reading this book was reading far too deeply into the world of Tim Allen that no viewing of Toy Story will remain the same.
In addition the “moderate” views expressed herein have seemingly evaporated with age as Tim Allen has replaced power tools with firearms in contemporary photos. Although I will admit that I do indeed recall one aspect of Home Improvement which is that Tim Allen with a tool in hand was more dangerous than handy. Perhaps we’re safer then with him and his guns after all.
For myself Fred Rogers is in the nostalgic camp. I’d say the Free Willy series is entirely forgettable. While, I would classify the Home Alone series as regrettable (because the psychological, and physical torture of grown men by the youngest son of a rich Midwest family no longer tickles me the way it once did).
Tim Allen manages to straddle all three. I think that Toy Story is as fine a film today as when I first saw it theaters and I would be lying if I discounted Tim Allen’s role in making the film as good as it was.
Home Improvement was, in terms of ratings, the ‘90s greatest sitcom. Rewatching a few episodes recently and I don’t think there exists a single moment in that series that is particularly stunning. The truly great sitcoms have had those moments and some like All in the Family have dozens to their name but not Home Improvement.
Then we get to this book: the regrettable.
I’m old enough to remember this book being advertised on TV- which was and still is odd to me. I never bought it, it was never in our house, but I got curious to see if I could find it without having to spend very much money on it. I figured it would be bad because say what you will about his abilities as an actor (and in the right role he is very good) his standup routine is phenomenally awful, and this book promises to be part standup routine plus memoir.
The memoir portion is the least awful part of this book and I do feel for him for losing his father in the way that he did. I think a mature writer could well take that experience and craft a very moving memoir from it all. I even think a certain amount of Allen’s kind of humour could be used and with a good amount of self reflection an enviable book could be written.
I wonder too if Allen’s humour as is represents a kind of compulsion to his father’s loss. I don’t think his sort of hyper masculinity was a “sign of the times,” since John Updike and Norman Mailer were royally criticized for a far subtler version of machismo than Tim Allen. Rather it looks like a clear attempt to make up for his father’s death- which I think is plain he did, but in possibly the worst way imaginable because in addition to “jokes” this book is also advice. From Tim Allen.
Dear God.
On reflection I suspect what happened is that Tim Allen actually did get ‘knocked upside the head,’ and that he just set poorly like an un-level basement because only an un-level basement would think: “I'm very much like the woman. I'm the one who's always getting punished.” is funny and not wh-what the hell?
“The next time I see Cher I’m going to have to have a word with her.” Oh. OK.
“The only thing I wonder about is the women in the men's locker room thing. What's that all about? Ever see men clamoring to get in the women's locker room? They respect women's privacy in the locker room, unlike some women color commentators who made it a point to go into the men's locker room. Men just wouldn't do that.”
As I recall there was a subplot in the movie Porky’s about men trying to get into the women’s locker room- a film so bad that it just went right to regrettable on release and never even leaned towards the nostalgic though it spawned a series of sequels.
“On the other hand, I might be totally wrong.”
You don’t say Tim?
Indeed, maybe I’m wrong too. Reading this book was reading far too deeply into the world of Tim Allen that no viewing of Toy Story will remain the same.
In addition the “moderate” views expressed herein have seemingly evaporated with age as Tim Allen has replaced power tools with firearms in contemporary photos. Although I will admit that I do indeed recall one aspect of Home Improvement which is that Tim Allen with a tool in hand was more dangerous than handy. Perhaps we’re safer then with him and his guns after all.