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A review by fictionesque
The True King by Summer Sullivan
1.0
Might lower to one star depending on how it goes. This book suffers from many of the same issues as the first one. Things I didn’t like that were also issues in the first book include:
• Overexplaining—the author holds the reader’s hand way too tightly. We remember things that happened in the first book or in earlier chapters.
• Character blend—I think Alida’s personality is a little more distinct in this one, but overall the male characters seem pretty interchangeable. I don’t feel like they’re real people I know. They seem a lot more like just general ideas. Y’all know how in Barbie movies the men are just kind of accessories to the women? It’s like that lol. Not to be like Men’s Rights When but it is most noticeable with the male characters.
• Setting—I DO think the setting is described more in this book, and I was intrigued by the Wildland storms and how crazy dangerous they are. However, I still feel this book lacks a real overall sense of time period (even though it’s set in a fantasy land). I find it confusing that people wear shorts and go to restaurants but then travel everywhere on horseback, and fight with swords. It’s almost like “modern America if cars and guns weren’t a thing,” which might be interesting, but it just feels accidental and overlooked, and lowkey I feel like it’s too late in the series to fix it. But who knows.
• Misogyny—It isn’t as bad as if a man had written it but there is a really bizarre undertone of…purity culture in this book? If you aren’t a feminist it probably won’t be super obvious or bothersome, but I found it weirdly jarring when Sahar referred to herself as an ex-prostitute when she was essentially trafficked into it as a child…like she didn’t choose that. I think maybe the author was trying to convey Sahar’s shame but even then, I’m not certain it makes sense for Sahar to feel a lot of shame. She is a very proud character and I’m sure she has deep scars from her past, but I would think she’s more the type to say “it’s lonely at the top as a world-class criminal/captain/thief” instead of “it’s hard to make gal pals as an ex prostitute.” Why does she identify herself more as an ex prostitute than as a captain? Idk I think she certainly could have some vulnerability about her past, especially with Alida, but it would need to be balanced with the pride.. Finally there were a few weird moments where the “bad” woman would give a flirtatious smile or flirt with her guards and it felt like the text was using this as a demonstration of how evilllll she is when it’s like…okay…why is that relevant? I guess the idea is that Cassia uses her sexuality as a tool of evil? Because that’s what women do? Really unnerving extension of the first book in which the ”bad” woman is a sex trafficking survivor lol. Cassia felt much more a manifestation of the idea that women who fuck are evil incarnate than as an actually interesting villain. She wears short skirts I wear t-shirts, and so on and so forth.
I think my other big issue with this book is that it feels like the author is not really sinking into the story. I don’t feel immersed. 99% of the events discussed happened in the future, past, or offscreen. In fact I feel like most of the action in this book literally happens offscreen. There is one part where the book jumps from right before a fight scene, to discussing after the fight scene and talking about the fight like it’s in the past. That’s LAZY WRITING come on let me see the action! It will bulk the book up and make it go faster and that’s the most fun part to write! My goodness! The reason I say that the author is not sinking into the story is because of instances like this. It’s almost like she’s trying to summarize without going to the trouble of telling us the story in a way that makes us feel like we’re there as it is happening. I feel that this happens a lot in the first book too, but it’s more noticeable in this one because it’s so short. I couldn’t believe how quickly this book went by, and it wasn’t because it was super gripping or anything, it was because it’s more of a summary of events than an actual book. It almost has the St*r W*rs prequel issue of everything interesting happening offscreen and then we’re left with like, trade negotiations. But maybe I’m overcomplicating it and the real issue is that the author has not created characters that are interesting or gripping.
Also while I think it’s interesting that Alida is developed more in this installment as a manipulator and a strategist I just really don’t find it believable since she seems so unbelievably insecure and immature at other points in the story. Like she loses her temper and calls Cassia an “ugly b*tch” while she’s held captive by her, which could easily have gotten her killed, and besides is a shit insult because we all know damn well Cassia is a California dime. It’s like calling Putin a “fugly slut” for committing war crimes it’s like…ok…that’s not really the appropriate condemnation but ty for your input.
And I’m supposed to believe she’s a war strategist now? I’m sorry but the numbers aren’t adding up. I DO think it’s consistent with the way we see her planning with her father and Rider in the first book, which is good foreshadowing on the author’s part, but Alida’s overall page to page characterization just doesn’t seem like a consistent arc leading to her becoming a strategist. At the end of the last book she was crying her eyes out and running aimlessly when things didn’t go her way. The strategist would be angry, and upset, and planning her next move. Or she’d cry first and then pull herself together. Idk I'm still just picturing Alida as a 16 year old. People call her a girl not a woman all the time too.
Oh also no resurgence of Alida's pastry habit??? Nooooooo!
Overall I feel like this book has some improvement (the cover design and formatting are also much better, in fact I’d recommend that the author re-does that first cover to make it an easier to see picture, black on black is never a good move for print on demand services), but I can’t tell if that improvement is amplified by the fact that there was less book to get through. These books have real potential and I do find it interesting watching to see where the author’s writing grows vs stagnates, since I’m also an indie author and always looking to improve my own work, but the author I think might need to spend more time and care on each one. Also, I know that the author is clearly doing more editing since there aren’t really typos anymore, BUT I think this book is just as lacking in developmental editing as the first one. Author should hire a few beta readers (who don’t know her and aren’t scared of hurting her feelings) to read through her work and make suggestions about the story itself, which she can either listen or not listen to. Having random people actually read your story and let you know honestly if they were engaged is very valuable before you publish it. Sometimes you see something very vividly in your head but the reader does not.
Anywho that’s it that’s my review. Might lower to one star depending on how I feel about it a few days from now.
• Overexplaining—the author holds the reader’s hand way too tightly. We remember things that happened in the first book or in earlier chapters.
• Character blend—I think Alida’s personality is a little more distinct in this one, but overall the male characters seem pretty interchangeable. I don’t feel like they’re real people I know. They seem a lot more like just general ideas. Y’all know how in Barbie movies the men are just kind of accessories to the women? It’s like that lol. Not to be like Men’s Rights When but it is most noticeable with the male characters.
• Setting—I DO think the setting is described more in this book, and I was intrigued by the Wildland storms and how crazy dangerous they are. However, I still feel this book lacks a real overall sense of time period (even though it’s set in a fantasy land). I find it confusing that people wear shorts and go to restaurants but then travel everywhere on horseback, and fight with swords. It’s almost like “modern America if cars and guns weren’t a thing,” which might be interesting, but it just feels accidental and overlooked, and lowkey I feel like it’s too late in the series to fix it. But who knows.
• Misogyny—It isn’t as bad as if a man had written it but there is a really bizarre undertone of…purity culture in this book? If you aren’t a feminist it probably won’t be super obvious or bothersome, but I found it weirdly jarring when Sahar referred to herself as an ex-prostitute when she was essentially trafficked into it as a child…like she didn’t choose that. I think maybe the author was trying to convey Sahar’s shame but even then, I’m not certain it makes sense for Sahar to feel a lot of shame. She is a very proud character and I’m sure she has deep scars from her past, but I would think she’s more the type to say “it’s lonely at the top as a world-class criminal/captain/thief” instead of “it’s hard to make gal pals as an ex prostitute.” Why does she identify herself more as an ex prostitute than as a captain? Idk I think she certainly could have some vulnerability about her past, especially with Alida, but it would need to be balanced with the pride.
Spoiler
Also, I don’t understand why the hell Sahar would forgive Alida and go groveling at her feet when Alida literally called her a w**** in the last book. Imagine some spoiled ass princess calling you a w**** because you were raped when you were a little girl. Literally I would chop miss Alida’s head off.I think my other big issue with this book is that it feels like the author is not really sinking into the story. I don’t feel immersed. 99% of the events discussed happened in the future, past, or offscreen. In fact I feel like most of the action in this book literally happens offscreen. There is one part where the book jumps from right before a fight scene, to discussing after the fight scene and talking about the fight like it’s in the past. That’s LAZY WRITING come on let me see the action! It will bulk the book up and make it go faster and that’s the most fun part to write! My goodness! The reason I say that the author is not sinking into the story is because of instances like this. It’s almost like she’s trying to summarize without going to the trouble of telling us the story in a way that makes us feel like we’re there as it is happening. I feel that this happens a lot in the first book too, but it’s more noticeable in this one because it’s so short. I couldn’t believe how quickly this book went by, and it wasn’t because it was super gripping or anything, it was because it’s more of a summary of events than an actual book. It almost has the St*r W*rs prequel issue of everything interesting happening offscreen and then we’re left with like, trade negotiations. But maybe I’m overcomplicating it and the real issue is that the author has not created characters that are interesting or gripping.
Also while I think it’s interesting that Alida is developed more in this installment as a manipulator and a strategist I just really don’t find it believable since she seems so unbelievably insecure and immature at other points in the story. Like she loses her temper and calls Cassia an “ugly b*tch” while she’s held captive by her, which could easily have gotten her killed, and besides is a shit insult because we all know damn well Cassia is a California dime. It’s like calling Putin a “fugly slut” for committing war crimes it’s like…ok…that’s not really the appropriate condemnation but ty for your input.
And I’m supposed to believe she’s a war strategist now? I’m sorry but the numbers aren’t adding up. I DO think it’s consistent with the way we see her planning with her father and Rider in the first book, which is good foreshadowing on the author’s part, but Alida’s overall page to page characterization just doesn’t seem like a consistent arc leading to her becoming a strategist. At the end of the last book she was crying her eyes out and running aimlessly when things didn’t go her way. The strategist would be angry, and upset, and planning her next move. Or she’d cry first and then pull herself together. Idk I'm still just picturing Alida as a 16 year old. People call her a girl not a woman all the time too.
Oh also no resurgence of Alida's pastry habit??? Nooooooo!
Overall I feel like this book has some improvement (the cover design and formatting are also much better, in fact I’d recommend that the author re-does that first cover to make it an easier to see picture, black on black is never a good move for print on demand services), but I can’t tell if that improvement is amplified by the fact that there was less book to get through. These books have real potential and I do find it interesting watching to see where the author’s writing grows vs stagnates, since I’m also an indie author and always looking to improve my own work, but the author I think might need to spend more time and care on each one. Also, I know that the author is clearly doing more editing since there aren’t really typos anymore, BUT I think this book is just as lacking in developmental editing as the first one. Author should hire a few beta readers (who don’t know her and aren’t scared of hurting her feelings) to read through her work and make suggestions about the story itself, which she can either listen or not listen to. Having random people actually read your story and let you know honestly if they were engaged is very valuable before you publish it. Sometimes you see something very vividly in your head but the reader does not.
Anywho that’s it that’s my review. Might lower to one star depending on how I feel about it a few days from now.